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Inherit the Wind

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There was definitely something blowing in the wind here last week, and it was more than just reports of Cate Blanchett playing a young Bob Dylan in a biopic. There was also a 65-foot-long Pikachu balloon taking a float up Broadway in an attempt to divine if giant inflated cartoon characters would once again wreak havoc at the Thanksgiving Day Parade. The Transit Authority proposed an emergency hurricane plan allowing household pets on buses and subways. “All owners should carry supplies to clean up animal waste,” the proposal noted, thoroughly; Mayor Bloomberg added, “Our subway system cannot [handle] a donkey or a horse.” (Though a horse or two might have aided the thousand New Jersey Transit riders whose train stopped in a tunnel under the Hudson.) It was a good week for inhaling—a police dog on Long Island sniffed out a truck carrying nine tons of illegal fireworks, and a new study showed no serious links between pot smoking and lung cancer. Hillary Clinton, whose husband never inhaled, siphoned off some of would-be presidential rival Al Gore’s green cred by floating an energy plan that would rely heavily on ethanol and wind power, then took a slap at rocker Sammy Hagar by calling for a return to the 55-mph speed limit. The Knicks, who traded away what turned out to be the second pick in the NBA draft to the Windy City’s Bulls, allowed Coach Larry Brown to twist in the wind in lieu of handing him a golden parachute. Axl Rose, whose song “Dust in the Wind” includes the line “I never meant to hurt nobody,” declined to discuss Tommy Hilfiger’s awkward attempt to get Bruce Lee on his ass but revealed he’s giving up on being a shut-in and is moving to Manhattan. And fellow recluse Osama bin Laden released yet another blowhard tape, in which he called Zacarias Moussaoui “an honorable brother” but said Wacko Zacko had no hand in 9/11.


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