• Pay CBGB’s jacked-up rent for 10,975 years.
• Buy 12,674,271.2 shares of Google, at its closing price on Oct. 19 (426.06).
• Acquire 3.25 YouTubes.
• Foot the bill for 19 days of the war in Iraq.
• Get 10, 821,643 sets of Sony PlayStation 3 or 21,686,747 Nintendo Wiis.
• Pony up for 4 years’ worth of tuition and fees at Columbia for 30,124 students.
• Hire 384,615 New Yorkers at the minimum wage for a year.
• Procure 48,214 of the world’s most expensive truffle.
• Eat 12,857,142 prix fixe dinners for 2 at Per Se.
• Get celebrity hairstylist Orlando Pita to cut 6.75 million heads of hair himself.
• Dole out the Yankees’ 2006 payroll for the next 28 years.
• Or the Mets’ 2006 payroll for the next 53 years.
• Build 5.4 new stadiums for the Yankees or 7.5 for the Mets.
• Get your own fleet of 135 brand-new Staten Island Ferry boats.
• Ride subways and buses using monthly MetroCards for 6 million years.
• Acquire 1.8 million black-market kidneys from India, or just 1.08 million from Turkey.
• Pay for 519,230 people (2 percent of the population) to escape North Korea.
• Buy 300 million copies of Ann Coulter’s Godless on Amazon.com, enough for every man, woman, and child in America.
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