In a week when spring temperatures broke 80 degrees and gas hit $4 a gallon, Hillary Clinton’s Earth Day victory in the Pennsylvania primary all but guaranteed a long, hot summer ahead. Contributors seemed to buy the cash-poor Democrat’s heated rhetoric—she promised to “obliterate” Iran if it bombed Israel—and pledged a cool $10 million the day following her win. After a judge acquitted three cops in the shooting death of Sean Bell, the city didn’t ignite in protest. First Lady Laura Bush and daughter Jenna received a warm welcome at their children’s-book reading at the 92nd Street Y, though a hothead outside was arrested for allegedly punching a girl in a wheelchair. Patricia Lancaster resigned as the city’s buildings commissioner. Con Ed offered Queens customers about eleven bucks for each day they went without power in July 2006. A second prostitute spoke to federal investigators about Eliot Spitzer’s steamy private habits. A Harlem man survived a three-story leap from his burning apartment building when neighbors assembled a trash pile to cushion his landing. Wall Street Journal managing editor Marcus Brauchli claimed that he’d jumped from his post, though everyone assumed he’d been pushed by new boss Rupert Murdoch. The state liquor authority stripped Scores West of its license to serve $30 cocktails and said the original Scores had the same thing coming, essentially sentencing the lap danceterias to death. The Cheyenne Diner wrangled a new home in Red Hook. Ed Koch brokered an eternal Manhattan resting spot for himself, in the Trinity Church Cemetery. Graffiti complaints were on the rise, up 80 percent in one year. Yoko Ono sued the makers of the pro-intelligent-design movie Expelled for sampling her husband’s “Imagine.” Li’l Boss Hank Steinbrenner had his own plans for Yankees flamethrower Joba Chamberlain. And fashion-forward Rangers winger Sean Avery lined up a coveted sandal-season internship—answering phones for Anna Wintour at Vogue.

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Related:

• Archive: “It Happened Last Week”
• Articles by Mark Adams
• Table of Contents: May 5, 2008 issue of New York | Subscribe!