What Would Jesus Do?
By Scott Dikkers, editor-in-chief of The Onion

I think anyone who’s ever read the New Testament knows that there’s very little upon which George W. Bush and Jesus would agree, but in his mind they’re in total consort and he’s his favorite political philosopher. I would say he talks to God the same amount now as ever. The only poll he cares about is the one that comes from Jesus. And he’s got 100 percent approval from Jesus.