Murray Hill Oscar Party
Joe's Pub; 7:30 p.m.; 425 Lafayette St., nr. Astor Pl.; 212-539-8777
If you’re a fan of no holds barred, offensive commentary, this is the one for you. Watch Murray Hill take snarky jabs at Hollywood’s exclusive club, with other funny compadres like Jenn Harris and Mike Albo. Hill also promises to do his best Bradley Cooper impersonation with a garbage bag on his head. There will also be the usual–fake red carpet, movie trivia, and a ton of prizes.
WitStream Oscars party
The Bell House; 7 p.m.; 149 7th St., nr. Second Ave., Gowanus, Brooklyn; 718-643-6510
Hosted by Dave Hill and Jena Friedman, the Witstream Oscars Party will be the only event in town that will engage with the social media–a barrage of tweets serving as subtext for the Oscar ceremony. Tune in as the comedic twitterverse regards the awkward moments, victory speeches, pretend-gracious losers, misunderstood jokes, and every wart and mole of the ceremony with the kind of wry cynicism that gets us off our rocks. Let us all be smug, funny, and a touch vile.
Sixth Annual Alt.Oscars
XL Nightclub; 6 p.m. – 1 a.m.; 512 W. 42nd St., nr. Tenth Ave.; 212-239-2999
Here’s where non-celebrities get gussied up to be part of an alternate universe where you win cash prizes (not prestigious golden trophies) for categories like best costume and best celebrity (doppelganger?). This is perhaps the closest you’ll get to the real thing, unless of course, you’ve miraculously managed to snag an invite for Daniel Boulud’s exclusive party. The night will feature a bunch of red carpet hosts like Triple Edwards (formerly CBS news on the Logo network) and Pearl Thomas, fake paparazzi (“a rowdy mob”), and celebrity portraits.
The Big Oscars Quiz Thing
92YTribeca; 6 p.m.; 200 Hudson St., nr. Canal St.; 212-601-1000
Attention film-nerds! The “nation’s greatest live trivia experience” returns for New York’s first ever live Academy Awards game show: "The Big Oscars Quiz Thing." If you think Meryl Streep is the only actress who owns the greatest number of miniature gold Titans, don’t bother going to this one.
Ultra-Mega Oscars 2013
Nitehawk Cinema; 7 p.m.; 136 Metropolitan Ave., nr. Berry St., Williamsburg; 718-384-3980
This one’s for the cult-fringy-alt-indie folk. Deepak Ananthapadmanabha, host of "The Circuit" on MOJO HD, will play MC for the night. Also, the Nighthawk specials–a menu inspired by Oscar nominated films screened at the theater–will be offered. Sample these: Zero Dark Thirty (Food: The Compound, Beverage: Founders Porter) and Beasts of the Southern Wild (Food: Fried Oyster Po’ Boy with Hush Puppies and a Spicy Remoulade, Beverage: Winks Bathtub Gin).
Loreley Oscars Party
Loreley Restaurant & Biergarten; 7 p.m.; 7 Rivington St., nr. Chrystie St.; 212-253-7077
If, for some reason, German beer is not exclusive to the Super Bowl experience but makes just about any viewing experience much more exciting for you.
Ginger's Oscars nights Red Carpet Academy Awards Bingo Show & Party!
Ginger's; 7 p.m.; 363 Fifth Ave., nr. 5th St., Park Slope, Brooklyn; 718-788-0924
Ginger Bar’s hostess "Luscious Lola" will run a pre-Oscar Red Carpet Bingo show, followed by a sure-to-be raucous viewing party, with complimentary finger foods.