PartyLines- photographs by Patrick McMullan

 
party lines image

Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump

Hammerstein Ballroom and Gotham Hall. March 9, 2011. By Bennett Marcus

You really don’t use any hair products? “No hair products. Well, shampoo I use, yeah.” —DONALD TRUMP

How do you feel about Donald? “He is a douche. I’ve been Googling him for the past two weeks, and there’s no evidence on the Internet that this guy is not a complete tool.” —WHITNEY CUMMINGS

Trump has his name on buildings, bottled water, suits. What else should he have his name on? “I don’t think there are Trump condoms.” —SETH MACFARLANE

You’re learning about business from Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice. Are you giving him hair-care tips in return? “I don’t dare. However, he did ask me to prove to the world that his hair is real, and I actually touched it, and it is.” —MARLEE MATLIN (with an interpreter)

If Trump were to run for president, what kind of scandals would you put out there to bring him down? “I would have to bang him and videotape it. Let him try to get out of that one.” —LISA LAMPANELLI

JON HAMM

ICE-T & COCO

Any hairstyling tips for Trump? “Uh, yeah—you know, if you need some gel, I can let you borrow some.” —MIKE “THE SITUATION” SORRENTINO

How did you prepare for tonight? “Smoked a lot of weed and drank a little bit of this Hennessy.” —SNOOP DOGG

Donald Trump has his name on a lot of buildings. What else should he have his name on? “I think you should be able to get your testicles named after Trump. That way you could call them “The Towers.”” —AMY SCHUMER (Splash News)

JOHN STAMOS

MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG

If Trump were to run for president, what kind of scandals would you put out there to bring him down? “How about the fact that he can’t marry a woman who speaks English? And I feel like if you opened up his books, there’s all kinds of shenanigans going on there.” —ANTHONY JESELNIK

JOHN SLATTERY

Trump has his name on buildings, bottled water, suits. What else should he have his name on? “” —JEFFREY ROSS

party lines image