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As Los Angeles was shaking from a 5.4 tremor, New Yorkers quaked as Governor ­Paterson delivered a nerve-racking budget speech.

The sound of numbers crunching could be heard all over the city last week.

Jesse Jackson’s accidental admission that he’d like to emasculate Barack Obama was hardly the week’s only awkward idle chatter.

Word that A-Rod had been making late-night visits to ­Madonna’s home base hogged the spotlight from the week’s other odd couples.

Lovers of cheap furnishings camped out in Red Hook last week prior to the opening of a new Ikea.

As the price of smokes shot through the $10 barrier last week, even nonsmokers were fired up.

In a week in which another construction crane fell, everyone seemed to be living like it was their last day on Earth.

Anchor Sue Simmons talked her way into the headlines last week, but foul language could be heard all around.

In a week when temperatures broke 80 degrees, Hillary Clinton’s victory in Pennsylvania all but guaranteed a long, hot summer ahead.

In a week filled with lost causes, none was sadder than the fizzling of the congestion-pricing crusade.