For "panting puppy" Bill Clinton, "helpless victim" Ken Starr, and even our entire "soft-porn nation," Maureen Dowd has one message: She's angry with us! Really, really angry!

Now that we know the New New Thing isn't the Next Big Thing, what will we all talk about? We've lost our window into the commercial unconscious.

Donna and Rudy's bad-blood marriage is tabloid fodder, but it's also every couple's story of unhappiness. Isn't it?

For boys like EchoStar's Charlie Ergen and Comcast's Brian Roberts who want to grow up to be Rupert Murdoch, there's only one endgame: Control distribution now -- at any cost!

From the beginning, Harry Potter has been the poster boy for the power of Amazon. Is that why Jeff Bezos was practically giving the book away?

As the what-did-Dubya-know-and-when-did-he-know-it debate rages on, the White House finds itself confronting an implacable enemy: the human need to apportion blame.

Clinton survivor George Stephanopoulos, the former Boy Wonder with the great hair, is now a Legitimate News Guy (with great hair). And he may be ABC's next big star.

If Martha Stewart gets sent away, I'll miss not only her but her genius business model: a media empire built around the idea that Martha could be paid to be Martha.

Your burn rate's too high, and time is running out on your Internet dream. If you call Fred Seegal, you can salvage something -- but it may be the toughest call you make.

The candidates got the vote they deserved. Turn the election into a marketing arms race, and it's bound to end in mutually assured destruction.