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April 17, 2006 Issue

Cover Story

Not Since Jesus

The world-exclusive first picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s child on the cover of this magazine was obtained . . . using models and the latest photo-manipulation technology. But everybody’s favorite celebrity weeklies are going to battle it out for the real thing, creating the biggest paparazzi frenzy the world has yet seen.

Features

Alan, Alien

Only 9 years old, he’s already sneaked into America twice. And he’s starting to worry that his next trip back to Mexico might come a little sooner than he was hoping.

The One-Man Drug Company

Lenny is not sure he wants to keep dealing cocaine. The rest of his Manhattan prep-school classmates, to be sure, have managed to find more respectable careers. But he also knows how hard it is to walk away. When the money’s this good, why not just stay in the game a few more months?

Vu.

Our look at the fine art of buying, selling, and lusting after real-estate returns, this time featuring:
• The Duke of Windsor Played the Drums Here
A tour of Anne Slater’s fabled seventeen-room party pad for aristocrats
• Win This Client!
A broker bake-off to win the hearts of two West Villagers trying to move up without moving out
• One Apartment, 125 Years
The timeline of a townhouse’s 125-year journey from middle-class dwelling to multi-million-dollar property
• Inventory Check: East 64th Street
• Nightmare on Hudson Street
• Market Research: Penthouses

Intelligencer

Tony Soprano’s Nephew Afraid To Drive

Finally learning in Miami.

Is Silverstein Sandbagging the Port Authority?

On March 30, PA chief Anthony Coscia privately accused Silverstein’s camp of harming ongoing negotiations by leaking untrue stories to the Post, a source says.

Cap’n Kozlowski’s Ghost Ship

$17.3 million, or best offer.

Lifestyles of the Rich & Perky

Nice work if you can get it.

Much Nothing About a ’Do

Blow Out blow-up on Bravo.

Streit Fight Is On!

No Flyswatter for Bushnell in court case.

April Showers

It should have been a peaceful week in the Big Apple.

Offensive Lineman

Mark Green’s 23-year-old political director tackles the tabloids and New York’s political establishment—and wants you to know that his boss isn’t arrogant.

Tot's Hat Triggers Slope Spat

How one Brooklyn mother’s attempt to return a child’s lost cap roiled a parents listserv with gender politics.

Monkeys Say ‘Dayenu!’

It’s that time of year again at the zoo: when the monkeys get fat and lazy thanks to Orthodox Jews.

Third Circle of Nell�s

Twenty years of clubbing in an old electronics warehouse on west 14th.

H&R Bud

A certified public accountant walks into a bar . . .

Insta-Latins in Manhattan

�Bienvenidos, gringos! El Museo del Barrio reaches out.

Appetizers for the Apocalypse

Do you have the stomach for survival ration crackers?

Strategist

Best Bets

Collectible butterflies, a reflecting ball perfect for gothic-novel-style gazing, and more.

Ask a Shop Clerk

Rae Nicoletti of Kate Spade.

Shop News

Store openings this week.

Look Book

A nanny who needed a break from the usual drool-covered sweatpants.

Underground Gourmet

The city’s best (and most expensive) sandwich shop, courtesy of Thomas Keller.

Lambs' Tales

Where to get the right lamb for religiously-symbolic-lamb-eating season.

In Season

A lobster seviche recipe from a Grayz chef.

Insatiable Critic: Gael Greene

All those years chef-partner Andrew Carmellini spent pleasing Daniel at Café Boulud inform everything that’s wonderful right now at the new A Voce.

Restaurant Openings & Buzz

Week of April 17, 2006: Turks & Frogs Tribeca, Quality Meats, European Union, and Financier Patisserie.

Rebirth, Italian Style

On April 16, celebrate Easter Sunday with a traditional Italian supper.

Matzo Balls

Every year, more and more ethnically and culinarily diverse restaurants are getting into the (non-kosher) Passover dinner act.

Regimen

Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist’s workout plan.

Mating

When do you tell your partner that you cheated . . . on your taxes?

The Culture Pages

The Fantastic Five

The Ark bring America the exuberantly unironic Swedish rock it didn’t know it needed.

The Movie Review

A great performance by Gretchen Mol as Bettie Page should give her back the career she deserves.

Female Lead: Maria Bello

A Q&A with The Sisters actress.

The Theater Review

An odd show called Well is a hit on Broadway despite its weirdness.

What’s So Hard About Being Ralph Fiennes?

Can Ralph Fiennes escape scandal by crossing the pond?

Songs to Make Your Blood Curdle: A History of the Vampire Musical

As Elton John’s Anne Rice–derived Lestat premieres, it’s high time for a comparison of musicals that suck.

The Book Review

A novel of adolescence by David Mitchell that’s half-realistic, half-mythical, and totally compelling.

New Ageist: Craig Ferguson

Q&A with Craig Ferguson, host of the Late Late Show and writer of a new novel Between the Bridge and the River.

The TV Review

On The Unit and 24, Dennis Haysbert and Kiefer Sutherland fulfill the need for military competence we can’t find in the real world.

Clarification: Dunderheaded Teen Sitcom or Venereal Disease?

The double-meanings of The Loop, The Evidence, The Clap, and more.

The Classical Review

A mean-spirited ‘Don Pasquale’ is redeemed by some good-looking singers.

The Approval Matrix

Our deliberately oversimplified guide to who falls where on our taste hierarchies.

Columns

The Power Grid

No one, and certainly not George Mitchell, will be able to stem the tide of artificial performance enhancement in baseball—or any other sport.

The Week

Live From Home

This week, two of New York’s most successful indie acts return to the city’s best small venue, the Bowery Ballroom.

An Hour on 25th Street

Don’t miss these museum-quality shows (both closing soon).

Sounds of Music

Von Trapp kids sing a few of their favorite things.

Reading Rainbow

Highlights from Manhattan Theatre Club’s 6@7 reading series—six Monday evenings’ worth of new work by prominent playwrights.

Departments

Letters to the Editor

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