Little can be said for Nicky Silver’s The Maiden’s Prayer, whose very title staunchly resists interpretation. This is the kind of piece concocted by someone who has nothing to say and insists on saying it; but there is a vast difference between keeping a hand in and putting one’s foot in it. It is about three men and two women -- or three heterosexuals and two homosexuals -- who keep getting into or out of one another’s hair, creating humorless havoc and preposterous resolutions.

If there were real people in a real story here, believe me, I’d gladly give it away, because there is nothing else to tell about and because I’d happily repay the author for two of the worst hours of my playgoing life. Even the excellent Derek McLane’s décor is a disaster, and Evan Yionoulis directs the actors to churn up a vacuum. Christopher C. Fuller does even less with his role than is there; Patricia Clarkson, Geoffrey Nauffts, Daniel Jenkins, and the enchanting Joanna Going thrash about valiantly to scarcely less scant effect.

Related:

• Archive: “Theater Reviews”
• Articles by John Simon
• Table of Contents: March 9, 1998 issue of New York | Subscribe!