(Photo: Courtesy of Lions Gate)

Beyond the Sea
Tagline: “I want it all.”
Translation: Writer-director-actor Kevin Spacey (above) is unashamed of his healthy ego.
Upside: Kate Bosworth looks cute as a button as Sandra Dee.
Downside: No doubt, some critics will ironically quote this line of dialogue from Spacey: “The nightclubs are reality; it’s not like the movies that are all fake.”

Polar Express
Tagline: “It doesn’t matter where they’re going. What matters is deciding to get on.”
Translation: Trust us. Sure, this looks cheesy, but what are you, a Scrooge?
Upside: Fireworks, Santa hats, and swelling strings.
Downside: The much-touted, CGI-enhanced Tom Hanks looks like the much-ignored wax Tom Hanks at Madame Tussauds.

Alexander
Tagline: “By the age of 25, he had conquered the known world. And changed the course of mankind forever.”
Translation: We’re going straight for the 16–25 male demographic.
Upside: Colin Farrell looks hot as a blond.
Downside: “The greatest legend of all was real.” Wait, didn’t Mel Gibson use pretty much the same line for The Passion of the Christ?

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Tagline: “Same Bridget. Brand-new diary.”
Translation: We made $254 million last time.
Upside: Eight slapstick pratfalls in one trailer, including a belly flop off a ski lift.
Downside: Hugh Grant’s line—“Ever think about doing it in the dark with a total stranger?”—reminds us of a certain parked car.

Related:

• Archive: “Movie Features”
• Articles by Logan Hill
• Table of Contents: Nov 8, 2004 issue of New York | Subscribe!