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Choose Your Poison

Rudy and Ed go mouth-to-mouth for mayoral-obnoxiousness supremacy. 

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Ed (Appearing at the Queens County Chamber of Commerce luncheon fourteen hours after the suicide of borough president Donald Manes): “How many people here read my first book? How many people read my second book?”

Rudy (After the police shooting of unarmed Patrick Dorismond): “He was no altar boy.” (Actually, Dorismond, a graduate of Giuliani’s own high school, Bishop Loughlin, had been an altar boy.)

Ed: “I’m not the type to get ulcers; I give them.”

Rudy: “We look upon authority too often and focus over and over again, for 30, 40, or 50 years, as if there is something wrong with authority. We see only the offensive side of authority.”

Ed (On the campaign trail in 1977): “Hi, I’m Ed Koch. I’m running for mayor. I’m for capital punishment. Are you?”

Rudy (During the Brooklyn Museum of Art dustup): “Disgusting . . . Pigs that are cut up and their insides are shown, cows whose heads are torn off . . . pedophiles on parade . . . dung being thrown at the Virgin Mary. I couldn’t possibly approve this as a use of taxpayers’ dollars.”

Ed (On the Bensonhurst issue): “What you might consider an increase in racial tension is probably just an increase in hostility toward me.”

Rudy (Confronted by a ferret keeper about why the city bans the animals as pets): “There is something deranged about you . . . You need somebody to help you . . . This excessive concern with little weasels is a sickness . . . You should go consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist with this excessive concern—how you are devoting your life to weasels . . . Something has gone wrong with you.”

Ed (As judge on The People’s Court, to a defendant): “You are a wounded creature.”

Rudy: “If we’re going to take lessons in diplomacy and how to express yourself, the last person in the world you should take it from is Ed Koch.”

Ed: “Giuliani tries to disembowel people. Nasty means what it says. You try to disembowel people. That’s what he tries to do.”

Rudy (to Koch): “Don’t interrupt me!”


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