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Q:

Where would you take George W. Bush on vacation?

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Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: "George is Never where the White House says he'll be, and especially not this time. Hell. I spoke with him on the land-line last night, and we agreed that the Hwange wildlife sanctuary in Zimbabwe is where we want to go. I will meet him in Miami and fly direct to Africa on Air Force Nine, which he assures me is very comfortable. 'Very cozy,' he said. 'Just me and you and the girls, and maybe Laura -- but you know how she feels about your smoking.'

'Wait until she smells those Hyenas,' I said. 'She'll be begging me for a Dunhill.'

He laughed nervously. Ernest Hemingway hated Hyenas. They're pansexual and they track victims -- but the President finds them 'fascinating,' and so do his daughters. 'We will live completely in the Wild,' he told me. 'We will do as the animals do.'

'Why not?' I said. 'Hyenas are unpredictable, but they won't bother us as long as we're naked.'

'Yes, sir. Naked as Jaybirds, out in the wilds of the Congo.' There was a childish joy in his voice that I hadn't heard for a while. 'Just like Tarzan and Jane -- us and those crazy Hyenas. I can hardly wait!'

'Me either,' I said. 'It's a good thing there won't be any photographers. We sure as hell don't want any pictures getting out.'

He laughed. 'Fooled 'em again, eh?'"


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