NYC's anti-smoking campaign: The city is spending $3 million on ads that feature the phrase "Quit yet?" Spokespeople deny the line is directed at Dick Cheney's heart.
Rudy's leg hair: The mayor dons Rockettes duds for a comedy sketch but won't reveal whether he shaved his legs. It wasn't a shave -- it was a comb-over.
Goldman Sachs says no: The firm scraps plan for an $850 million plaza. It was going to build the complex out of the billions of pounds of paper that used to be tech stocks.
Michael Bloomberg's mayoral move: He steps down from the board of his company, denies that the move is motivated by politics, then says, "If I ran, I would win." It's the kind of modest charm that makes us nostalgic for Donald Trump.
Al Goldstein's impotence: Screw's publisher says he can no longer have sex and will concentrate on dating older women. Lock up your grandmothers.
Brooklyn Commons: Plans for the $65 million complex at Gowanus Canal fall apart. We were really looking forward to seeing the mascot: a mafioso in cement overshoes.