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EDITED BY JESSICA LUSTIG

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Out in the Heartland
The Greenwich Village Halloween Parade, once a celebration of deviance, is going national. Is the deal to air it on the Sci-Fi Channel the last straw for the kooky, kinky party? Pro-sleaze gay activist Bill Dobbs: "The Village parade had been a vibrant . . . small-scale, manageable thing, but now no one can get to it -- sad news for those who might want to appreciate the parade in real life instead of the plastic version." But Daniel Harris, author of The Rise and Fall of Gay Culture, says it's all in character: "A drag queen without a camera is like a politician without a pep rally."

Run, No Hit
The official 2000 World Series program contains a baseball "debate" between Al Gore and George W. Bush, and it's the first debate all over again. Consider the answers to Who was better, Joe DiMaggio or Ted Williams? Gore: "Both players brought great excitement to the game . . . DiMaggio's record of 56 consecutive games with a hit still stands today, and Williams' season batting average of .406 is still the standard for every player. It's hard to say who is better, but I can tell you that they were both the best." Bush: "They were both great."

Hell of a Town
From a City Council-sponsored survey of 2,132 adult New Yorkers released earlier this month: 70 percent won't drink water straight from the tap * 39 percent have been refused by a cabbie * 38 percent are bothered by graffiti * 54 percent complain about lack of sidewalk trash baskets * 60 percent complain of dangerous traffic * 19 percent complain about abandoned vehicles in their neighborhood * 52 percent complain about soot or exhaust * 36 percent have recently been bothered by rats.

Modo No Mo'
Last Tuesday, Modo -- the company that provided a city guide on an LCD screen, updated via a pager signal -- went broke, silencing the little insectoid gizmos that received its signals. Total useful life of the $99 device: 50 days. The Union Square Virgin Megastore said it would accept returns with packaging and receipt, though Modo's New York editor, Ken Miller, says a friend of his who tried was turned away. Michael Prichinello, one of the four scenesters who served as quasi columnists on the service, is keeping his: "It really is a beautiful device. It stays in my desk drawer, next to my Urbanfetch subway card."

Techno Logy
"Look, I'm walking and talking at the same time," said Moby last week, introducing his band at the Hammerstein Ballroom. "George W. Bush must be jealous." Noted one young man with a blank expression and glowsticks between his fingers, "That's cool" -- long pause -- "but I can't walk and talk at the same time right now, either."

Another Bronx Incident
Last week, Mayor Giuliani expressed support for Roger Clemens, calling that bat toss an "instinctual reaction." Sound familiar? "When you are in an ambiguous but difficult circumstance," Giuliani told his police force after the Diallo shooting, "and when others are pointing the finger of blame on you, I give you the benefit of the doubt." And if it were a Mets pitcher? As he said last year, "What I've learned is that instincts very often follow ideological biases and then have a very hard time being corrected by the truth."


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