This is a difficult time in Israel, a time when the economy, the motionless peace process, and the raging debate over what the national character of a Jewish state should be have left Israelis with, at best, an obstructed view of the bigger picture. “Sometimes I don’t think we Israelis know how to put aside the strains of daily life and celebrate,” says Gad Ben-Ari, chairman of the Jewish Agency delegation to North America and former press secretary to Yitzhak Rabin.

For their part, the Israelis failed to recognize that American Jews have an almost visceral need to celebrate: more than anything else, to validate their self-image as Jews and to congratulate themselves for their role in building the state of Israel. “The fiftieth ought to have been an occasion in which American Jews and Jews the world over could celebrate the most remarkable development in 2,000 years of Jewish history,” says Dr. Steven Bayme, director of the American Jewish Committee’s Institute on American Jewish-Israeli relations. “Yet the problems of the day -- the peace process and pluralism -- are overshadowing the meaning of the anniversary.”

Ronald Lauder, president of the Jewish National Fund, thinks the mistake that’s been made has been looking backward and trying to celebrate the past. “We should have used this as a moment to look at where Israel is going over the next 50 years,” says Lauder, the former ambassador to Austria.

“The issues affecting Israel are not issues of how they’re going to live with their Arab neighbors. I believe that time will solve this problem. The key issue now is, will Israel be another country in the Middle East that happens to be made up predominantly of Jewish people? Or will it be a true Jewish state, the way it was envisioned by its founders?”

The disputes that emerged around the fiftieth anniversary are indicative of the changing nature of the relationship between the two communities. Israel has matured. It is no longer the poor, unsophisticated relation, happy to accept American charity and the paternalistic -- if not patronizing -- attitude that comes with it.

At the same time, the comfort level for American Jews is such that they look less and less toward Israel -- especially now, when the Orthodox Establishment that controls religious life in Israel seems intent on demeaning the religious practices of most American Jews. The refusal by Israel’s Chief Rabbinate to recognize the validity of Conservative and Reform Judaism -- the 90 percent of affiliated American Jews -- has opened a wound that may never be healed.

The anger felt by American Jews has already resulted in less money being sent to Israel. “We used to to ask how you could run a program that’s more sensitive to local needs, and people would say you can’t. Israel is the only thing that will get people in the gut, the only thing that will motivate them,” says Leonard Fein, a Jewish activist and the director of the Commission on Social Action of the Reform movement. “But now it’s happening. General allocations from UJA Federations to Israel are sliding. Right now they’re at about 40 percent of the money raised, down from 50 percent. And they’ll probably level off at around 25 percent. And the campaigns overall are doing fine.”

Despite the deft use of political power by American Jews on behalf of Israel and despite years of an enormously successful American fund-raising effort -- both of which have long been the envy of other ethnic groups -- it appears that on a human level, the two communities actually know very little about one another.

“Both societies have changed tremendously over the years, but what’s changed in the relationship? Practically nothing,” says Dr. Gary Tobin, director of the Cohen Center for Modern Jewish Studies at Brandeis University. “American Jews continue to relate to Israel primarily by sending money. It’s not healthy. If the relationship between American Jews and Israel were a romance, one would not want money to be the primary expression of love.”

In the wake of the holocaust, Jewish unity has been forged around external threats and uncertainties. But as those threats have receded, the question resonating through the Jewish community with the piercing clarity of the shofar (ram’s horn) on Rosh Hashanah is, What will replace them?

How do you capture a generation of American Jews with no memory of the Holocaust, Israel’s war of independence, or even the war in 1967? A generation for whom Israel is not a miracle but a fact of life? And, as Fein points out, an often troublesome fact at that? As Israel begins its next 50 years, what will be the basis for a strong relationship with the Diaspora? Will American Jews still care passionately about Israel? Indeed, should they?

“You can certainly see the specter of disengagement,” says the American Jewish Committee’s Dr. Steven Bayme. “American Jews feel our primary issue is Jewish continuity, and Israel is to some extent damaging that. Because by delegitimizing the Reform and Conservative movements, it’s delegitimizing the primary avenues by which we can get Jews to remain Jewish and to raise their children as Jews.