Feature

Age of Anxiety

Not everyone can be as rich as Bill Gates by 30.

By Matt Gross

If 30 really is the new 21, then Book of Ages: 30 should relieve the anxiety of thirtysomethings who wonder why they haven’t yet won that Pulitzer. Chock-full of potentially useful facts (on Mars, you’d be just 16!), the thin tome is the first in a series devoted to age-related minutiae (next up: 40). Authors Lockhart Steele and Joshua Albertson (their third co-writer was busy dealing with a “hedgehog situation”) sat down to discuss firearms, virginity, and personal debt.

So, are you guys actually 30?
Lockhart Steele: I turn 30 in January.
Joshua Albertson: I turn 29 in two weeks.

So young! What makes you experts on 30?
L.S.: I think the bottom line is, people should not trust us. There’s a lot of crazy data out there in this world.

Such as?
J.A.: Forty-five percent of 30-year-olds own a firearm.
L.S.: One in 25 women turning 30 is a virgin.

What are your sources? These numbers sound sketchy.
J.A.: They’re all totally nonsketchy. We did research on the Internet.

Who was the most successful 30-year-old?
J.A.: On a purely financial level, Bill Gates.
L.S.: Microsoft IPO’d when he was 30. Creatively, you’ve gotta give some props to Orson Welles.

What about the average 30-year-old?
L.S.: The average 30-year-old has $19,100 in debt. I think if you’re doing better than that, it’s something to feel good about.

Is 30 in New York different?
L.S.: One of the stats is that 30-year-olds are a pretty content lot. All of my friends in New York are heading up on 30. I’m not sure content is the word I’d use.