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Intelligencer: February 14–21, 2005

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Extreme Zohar!
Kabbalah gets jittery with new highly caffeinated, tasty wisdom beverage.
Tired? Feeling insufficiently Madonna-like spiritually? After conquering the undercaffeinated quasi-religious in Los Angeles, the people behind Kabbalah Energy Drink are gearing up to distribute the single-serving cans in New York this spring. It is hoped it will solve your ennui issues in a much more direct way than some wimpy red-string bracelet. “We’re marketing this because it’s cool to be part of Kabbalah today,” explains Darin Ezra, the “chief consultant” behind the drink. “This is the pop culture right now. There’s nothing more trendy. It’s like Fossil watches when they first came out.” Although the company is careful to bring up but not confirm or deny, entre nous, the rumor of a possible Ashton Kutcher endorsement of this Red Bull knockoff, Kutcher’s publicist at Baker Winokur Ryder wouldn’t return calls to verify that. (Kutcher and his girlfriend Demi Moore are both Kabbalists, you see.) Despite reports to the contrary, neither Ezra nor the drink have any affiliation with the Kabbalah Centre in Los Angeles, which has its own blessed liquid (water, $3 a bottle). Ezra claims his water well is close to the Centre’s in Canada.
—Kate Pickert


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