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Secrets and Sighs

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The disclosure of Deep Throat’s identity transfixed the city, but it could not have been an entirely happy development for Carl Bernstein, whose market value will doubtless plummet now that he is no longer a guardian of the secret. Henry Kissinger sounded a sour note about the scoop, leading some to speculate that he had relished the mystique of being a Deep Throat suspect. Graydon Carter, by contrast, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. Meanwhile, New Yorkers grappled with other revelations of a more local character. A veteran Bronx jazz bassist named Tarik Shah was arrested on charges that he planned to set up an Al Qaeda training camp on American soil. A massive French-made “vacuum train” that moves through the subway sucking up garbage—who dreamed there was such a thing?—derailed in Brooklyn on an elevated track nearly eight stories above street level. Sweden’s former consul general to New York announced that he was nominating Rudolph Giuliani for the Nobel Peace Prize, citing his success in fighting crime. (New York’s crime drop actually began in 1990 under David Dinkins, four years before Giuliani took office, but never mind.) It came to light that Rudy and his wife, Judith, bought a Palm Beach condo last year—but not, according to a Giuliani spokesman, with the intention of establishing Florida residency. Christian Slater showed his flair for nocturnal multitasking by reportedly arguing with a cabdriver, arguing with his girlfriend, groping the buttocks of a 52-year-old woman passerby, and threatening to sue the police, all more or less simultaneously. Cyndi Lauper filed suit to have the rent for her commodious apartment in the Apthorp reduced to $508 a month. And, finally, it was revealed that Chevy Chase, now 61, will be making a little extra money this summer by offering one evening of “invaluable career advice” at the Learning Annex.


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