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In the Cut

A new smut-splicing DVD player may create plot holes.

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RCA’s new DVD player would make the FCC proud—it automatically cuts profanity, sex, violence, and drug use from films. Its designer, ClearPlay, puts computerized filters of 100 movies into each player (500 more filters can be downloaded though the Web). So when you rent one of these movies from a store, the player knows—perhaps too well—what to censor.

MOVIE: When Harry Met Sally
ICONIC SCENE: At Katz’s Deli, Meg Ryan loudly proves to Billy Crystal that women can convincingly fake an orgasm.
ICONIC SCENE REDUX: Crystal asserts he pleases all women. Ryan asks how he knows. “How do I know? I know.” End of scene.

MOVIE: Ghost
ICONIC SCENE: Demi Moore gives Patrick Swayze a pottery tutorial, which leads to the famous clay-caked sex scene.
ICONIC SCENE REDUX: When Swayze can’t get the hang of the pottery wheel, he pecks Moore on lips; cut to next morning.

MOVIE: Unfaithful
ICONIC SCENE: Diane Lane sneaks off for a rapturous quickie with her French lover in a restaurant bathroom.
ICONIC SCENE REDUX: Lane glances at the Frenchman in the bathroom. A moment later, he’s at the bar, smiling inexplicably.


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