Urinetown

Murray Moss, co-owner of Moss: “No mirrors. The fifteen-minute ‘limit’ isn’t long enough for a New Yorker’s vanity.”

Mario Buatta, Prince of Chintz: “Ideally, you’d like to carpet them, but that’s totally impractical. You need several peepholes looking out or a TV camera to make sure that when you open the door, you don’t get robbed. Plus, lifting the seat is disgusting. You should step on a button and have it spring up.”

Bob Vila, home-repair guru: “Traveling across Europe 30 years ago, I remember, there was always an old lady as the restroom attendant. It was like doing your business with your grandmother! A cool design would be if you could see into the bottom two feet from outside. That would diminish the chance of people doing inappropriate stuff.”

Carolee Carmello, toilet warden, Urinetown: “It should dole out one square of TP only, and charge a nickel for every extra square.”

Katie Brown, design expert: “I know they’re unisex, but in general, I wouldn’t do men’s bathrooms. Do they really need them?”

Mayer Rus, editor, House & Garden: “Different things for different prices. For $50 on the Upper East Side, you’d get a malachite toilet with solid-gold hardware and a dispenser with La Prairie skin caviar or Crème de la Mer. For $2 on the Lower East Side, you’d get a condom and a clean needle.”

Your Turn
How would you design one?

Urinetown