Earlier that week, Lohan and his attorney, Dominic Barbara, had announced that, as part of the divorce battle, they would seek half the 15 percent fee Dina reportedly earns for managing Lindsay’s career. Lohan estimates that Lindsay makes as much as $40 million a year, which he believes entitles him to $3 million. Lohan explains that he is not going after Lindsay’s money, but his wife’s cut of Lindsay’s money—and he says he’s doing that only because he sees so many other people living off Lindsay’s career. He’s her father, after all.

But during our lunch it becomes clear that the alimony suit is not Lohan’s endgame. He slides a settlement proposal across the table, which goes something like this: Let’s forget the whole restraining- order thing and put the divorce on hold—just long enough to make a reality show called Living With the Lohans: Over, or Starting Over? The treatment reads, “Join the Lohans as they invite you into their home, their lives, at work, play and even through their personal trials, as they go through what could be one of this decade’s most high profile and controversial celebrity divorces.”

“We as a family have been offered a deal with one of the biggest production companies in reality TV,” Lohan says. “It’s a multi-multi-multi-million-dollar deal.” His “Term Sheet for Divorce Action As Per Living With the Lohans” boils down to an ultimatum: If Dina agrees to make the show, then at the end of shooting, she can have an uncontested divorce, assuming she still wants it, and will not pay Michael “one red cent”; Michael will keep the licensing rights for Living With the Lohans. Otherwise, prepare for a nasty court fight.

But seeping out between the lines of that document is Lohan’s realization of what his non-televised reality is shaping up to be: divorce from his wife, estrangement from his children, jail if he tries to see any of them, and obscurity if he leaves them alone. Friends have abandoned him. The Lowdown is on life support. The Post’s Cindy Adams, who once championed his creativity, dismissed him last week by reporting that he calls up columnists “crying on the phone.” It can’t be easy being Michael Lohan.

The conclusion of his proposition to Dina reads as half-plea, half-threat: “By the end of the day, she’ll be broke, broken, and in a nut house with a nervous breakdown. Doesn’t she understand that I am the ONLY SUCKER who forgives her?”

Related:

• Archive: “Features”
• Articles by Greg Williams
• Table of Contents: Feb 28, 2005 issue of New York | Subscribe!