"There is no such thing as a stupid question. I mean, obviously. I can't believe you'd have the gall to ask that."
"Life is like the game of baseball: You can only really play it in a $1 billion stadium on the West Side with a retractable roof."
"Rule with an iron fist (and, one night a year, a velvet slip)."
"If you don't have anything nice to say, make sure you speak clearly into the microphone."
"If it ain't broke, blame it on Dinkins anyway."
"People who live in glass houses shouldn't own ferrets."
"Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's ludicrous to consider anything small in light of James Q. Wilson and George L. Kelling's 'Broken Windows' theory of policing."
"Call Raoul first thing Friday morning about the writ of certiorari."
"When all else fails, get a new chancellor."
"Never pander. Except to Orthodox Jews, Catholics, police officers, and Staten Islanders."