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Joseph A. Diorio

Home Depot, 980 Third Ave., nr. 59th St. 212-888-1512

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Are you from the suburbs?
No, I was raised on Avenue A. My first apartment was exactly 400 square feet.

How do you make 400 square feet look like 4,000?
Use mirrors and bright colors, accent trimming, and area rugs.

Do your friends ask you to fix up their apartments?
Yeah. I’ll go in their hallways, and I’m like, “God, it’s so dark in here—we can do different things, add a wall sconce or something.”

Are your tips well received?
My wife’s friends love it.

Do you wear the tool belt in the relationship, then?
My wife doesn’t want to touch things. She’s like, “Babe, make it easy for me.” I got her a tape measure that runs on batteries. You press the button and it comes zooming out on its own. Press another button and it retracts slowly.

The store’s a bit of a maze. You have to ride three escalators just to buy a toilet brush.
That’s why we have a cuer at the bottom to guide our customers through. The cuer helps direct people.

Concierges. Doormen. Cuers. Lots of hand-holders.
We don’t let the balls drop at Home Depot. It’s not gonna happen.

Delivery is $21.
Most people think it’s cheap. I just had a customer, and she was like, “I really can’t carry this, I really don’t want to carry this,” and it was only three cans of Febreze. So she had them delivered.

Does fluorescent orange go with your complexion?
Orange is my favorite color.


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