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Have I Got a Suburb for You!

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Ray Ellin
Comedian and host of Latenet on dailycomedy.com

Where He Lives Now: A one-bedroom co-op in Greenwich Village.
What He Asked For: A house with lots of room for his dog, near a cycling path. He has to be near the city for auditions and gigs (an hour away is too far). “I grew up around a college town, and I like that kind of vibe,” he says.
His Budget: $3,000 per month.
What She Offered: Bernstein usually sends singles to Stamford and Greenwich, for their social scenes and direct trains to Manhattan. But they’re too far for Ellin, and besides, “I don’t think he’s ready to make that big of a change.” Instead, she recommended New Jersey’s gold coast—West New York, Hoboken, and Weehawken—where there’s a riverside hike-and-bike trail. The ferry ride is all of eight minutes.
The Verdict: Promising, but problematic. Door-to-door, the trip to a West New York house they visited took just half an hour. “Maybe it was just that day,” says the incredulous Ellin, who wonders about his social life. “Can you imagine saying, ‘Why don’t you jump in a cab, ride on the ferry, I’ll pick you up, and we’ll get a burger at the diner?’ And those boats could be delayed. I don’t think it would be acceptable to say, ‘Sorry I was late for the show—it was a bit too windy.’ ” He liked the dog-friendly mini-lawns in front of many townhouses; he’s not crazy about needing a car, though. Most of all, the ferry is infrequent after-hours, and for a comic, an impediment to late nights in Manhattan is a no-go.


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