Mark Zuckerberg Learns the Futility of the Comments Section

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INDIA-INTERNET-FACEBOOK-COMPUTERS
Photo: Money Sharma/AFP/Getty Images

Earlier this week, Mark Zuckerberg, the chief executive officer of Facebook, announced the birth of his daughter, Max. At the same time, he and his wife announced they would be donating 99 percent of their company shares, worth approximately $45 billion, to charity.

Much has been made of the fact that the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative is, technically, not a charity; it is a limited liability corporation. A very rich person introducing an unconventional financial structure for their philanthropy caused many to (understandably!) go,

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So Zuck posted another status, going into further detail on it. And that’s usually where the story ends for Zuckerberg. He writes a post, hits Enter, and goes back to his vital work catalyzing the Singularity.

Except he didn’t.

Zuck jumped into the comments section. With zeal!

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[Extremely human voice.] “I’m replying to comments on the internet!”

On the post announcing Max’s birth, Zuckerberg also replied to comments, but they were mostly directed to famous people with that sweet blue “verified” check mark. The first three replies, for example: Melinda Gates, Shakira, and Richard Branson.

On his follow-up post, Zuck started conversing with the normies. If, as the saying goes, “1 Like = 1 Respect,” then what does "1 Zuckerberg Reply" equal? "45 Billion Likes"?

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Some of his advice was inspirational, techno-meritocracy stuff.

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12 years ago I was a student [at Harvard, and prior to that, the prestigious Phillips Exeter Academy].”

And then Zuckerberg was met with the internet’s True and Only Challenge: people who are wrong on the internet.

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Mark, my dude. Have a seat. You’re never gonna win. Every day, someone is wrong on the internet. Many people are wrong on the internet. You can’t do anything to change their minds (though breaking them off a piece of that sweet, sweet FB $ might go a long way).