Woman’s Big Brother Scares Off Her Dates by Texting Them Hannibal Lecter Quotes

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In our strange contemporary world, technology enables all kinds of new and uncomfortable ways for strangers to get access to us. And because necessity is the mother of invention and all that, it also provides new ways to blow those strangers off. For example: A woman who goes by Lucy2Shoes says she gave an undesirable guy at the bar her brother’s number instead of her own, and her brother has a penchant for answering texts with lines from infamous fictional serial killer Hannibal Lecter.

“Every now and again I come across men at bars who won’t take no for an answer,” “Lucy” wrote on imgur.

Doesn’t matter that I tell them I’m not interested, I have a boyfriend, we own a home together, I’m never leaving him, I just want to hang out with my friends, so on and so forth. After failed attempts to get rid of them, I usually can get them to leave me alone if I give them my number.  So, I give them my big brother’s. For this gentleman, my brother decided to only respond with Hannibal Lecter quotes.”

It is important, as Hannibal’s mother used to tell him, to try new things.

The best part of their exchange is that the earnest would-be suitor takes forever to get the joke. The poor guy tries his best to make sense of the ravings of an erudite cannibal, and just keeps responding, thinking he’s met a girl who might be too “deep” for him. It’s painful and hilarious to see.

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Sure, these messages would be easy to fake, but I want to believe that they’re real. If you look at the timestamps, you’ll notice Lucy’s brother waits several minutes in between replies — valuable minutes he was probably using to pull the perfect response from the Hannibal Lecter quotes page on IMDb.

Remarkable boy. I do admire his courage.