Just What You’ve Always Wanted, a Game Controller You Can Penetrate

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The main limitation of today’s video-game controllers is that you can’t have sex with them. At least, that seems to be the reasoning behind VirtuaDolls, the “adult VR game controller” that’s currently hot on crowdfunding platform IndieGogo. In the past five days, 36 people have paid $6,700 for the possibility of penetrating a flesh-colored tube while playing virtual-reality games.

“The amount of passion that has gone into creating a controller with this level of immersion has been incredible,” the creators of VirtuaDolls promise on their IndieGogo page. I bet!

The brainchild of a three-person team out of San Francisco (where else?), VirtuaDolls is basically an interactive Fleshlight, with sensors that detect the player’s “movement” and “position” and affect the game on-screen accordingly.

And by “game,” VirtuaDolls is mainly referring to Girls of Arcadia, a 3-D porn experience they’re developing in-house. The premise of the game involves saving goddesses and fighting monsters — don’t think too hard about how that works — or players can “just pick a girl and continue without fuss.” Don’t stare into the screenshots. If you gaze long into an abyss, an abyss will also gaze into thee. (The controller will also synchronize with “regular” virtual-reality porn, too, in case you were concerned the 36 backers — who paid an average of around 200 bucks — weren’t getting enough for their money.)

There’s also a software development kit for coders who want to make their own games compatible with VirtuaDolls. I know exactly what you’re thinking right now: Will someone play Super Mario Bros. with his dick within the next year of human history? Yes, someone will undoubtedly play Super Mario Bros. with his dick within the next year of human history, if someone hasn’t already.

These are heady times we live in, friend.