This Hermès Paperweight Is Also the World’s Most Expensive d20

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Photo: theselby/Instgram

For the last several years, there have been many bold proclamations that nerds are finally cool and no longer receiving swirlies in the locker room after P.E.

We’re all nerds now,” claimed the New York Times in 2014. “Rise of the new geeks: how the outsiders won” proclaimed the Guardian in 2013. Are ‘geek’ and ‘nerd’ now positive terms?” asked the BBC in 2012. And so on.

But all of these declarations were wrong. But you know who’s right? Me. I’m the one who decides when nerds finally become cool. Nerds and nerd activities are not cool until I say so. (I’m a geek, I love Mario.)

Last week, thanks to Todd Selby, I learned of the existence of the Icosahedron, an object being made by highest-end fashion house Hermès, of Paris.

Uh, that’s a d20. That’s the 20-sided die everyone who has every played Dungeons & Dragons, or seen it on TV, knows about. Hermès made a d20. That’s nuts; I’m calling it. May 16, 2016 A.D.: Hermès made a d20 and Nerd Culture Is Finally Cool.

Here’s what Hermès told us about the world’s most expensive d20, “part of our brand new Equilibre collection that launched this year at Salone.”

A polyhedron with 20 equilateral triangular sides, the icosahedron is one of the 5 simple shapes that Plato described in Timaeus (360 BC).

It is leather-covered resin.

And, each side is gold hot stamped from 1 to 20.

Ritzy. Oh, also, it costs $5,850. Asked if the Hermès icosahedron was the most fashionable d20 in the world, a spokeswoman responded, “We envision the object being used as a paperweight.” In other words: It hasn’t been roll-tested.