I Don’t Buy the Latest College Snapchat Romance

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Earlier this week, a Snapchat-birthed relationship between two students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison took over the internet’s collective mind. (You can read our interview with the couple here.)

Now, it’s allegedly happening again with the Utah State Snapchat campus story (a public aggregation of snaps from students). Only this time, the whole thing ends with a dance battle and several hundred students singing the campus fight song.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Snapchat stories are usually geofenced, meaning you can only see them from a specific area, like a college campus. But the Utah State story is currently visible under Snapchat’s Live stories, so those of us who aren’t students there can see it for the 24 hours it’ll be live on the app. (Again, hmmmmm.)

First, we meet a blonde female student, dubbed “Spoiler Girl,” who ruins everyone’s day by posting videos explaining the endings of famous movies. In this case, she details the ending of 2001’s Shrek.

Next up, a student enraged by Spoiler Girl’s actions decides that the campus needs to stage some kind of intervention to keep her from spoiling again. Another student chimes in and proposes the intervention be a “silent dance battle” between students who are for and against the spoiler snaps. (More on this later. For now, just: Hmmmm.)

Meanwhile, somewhere else on the Snapchat-filtered hellscape I am envisioning as the Utah State campus, an unsuspecting guy named Trevor sends a snap about studying for his investment banking final to the campus story. Another female student sends him a good luck snap, while her friend, Madison, shouts “you’re hot” from the backseat of a car.

Of course, Trevor doesn’t know Madison is Madison (Does anybody in college use Facebook anymore?). Instead he calls her “Mystery Car Girl” and the two coordinate a date for the evening, meeting up for ice cream before the dance battle.

Ah yes, young love. Just look at those faces.

From there, the happy couple heads to the library for the dance battle. (Which, in case you’ve forgotten, concerns the ending of a 15-year-old children’s movie). Based on the snaps, it appears easily 100 students showed up to dance and cheer on their classmates. Trevor and Madison deem themselves the unofficial judges of the event, ruling in favor of “Team Spoiler” after several minutes of painful gyrating. Then they kiss while their classmates hoot, holler, and round out the evening with a rousing chorus of the school song, like the sequel to the sequel to High School Musical.

Now, we’re not saying the stunt was orchestrated by Snapchat (we’ve reached out to the company and will update this story if we hear back). We’re not even saying that it’s fake. We’re just saying, you know: One week after a mega-viral Snapchat romance, another one, involving a dance-off, appears?

Look, that now-viral Snapchat story from the University of Wisconsin, was sentimental pap, yes. But it was charmingly sloppy sentimental pap. It was authentic sentimental pap. Also, it was first. If you want to go viral with your romance, try a different app. (Down to Lunch?)