What Will the New Season of Black Mirror Be About?

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This Halloween, Black Mirror — the anthology series that asks, “What if the tech we think is good … is actually bad?” — returns for a third season on Netflix. Netflix has released an episode list without synopses — but I, as a sophisticated technology expert, have my guesses.

“San Junipero”
On the remote island of San Junipero, society lives apart from the rest of the world and has never used computer technology. When a mysterious shipwreck survivor washes ashore, she introduces the island natives to her only remaining possession: an iPod Classic whose only contents are the soundtrack to Shrek 2 and a ton of vaporwave.

“Shut Up and Dance”
Two men from the year 2016 mysteriously wake up and realize that they’ve traveled back in time … to the year 2013, when the Harlem Shake meme has taken the nation by storm. Everywhere they go, they are forced by Obama’s Meme Police to participate in another Harlem Shake video. Can the duo break the cycle and return home?

“Nosedive”
A former Olympic diver and current start-up executive discovers an eerie correlation: Whenever she does a high dive, her company’s stock takes a nosedive. Will she be able to give up the pastime she loves for the company that offers a really good cafeteria and free dry cleaning done on premises?

“Men Against Fire”
Thousands of women die in fires every year, but men rarely speak out on the issue. That all changes when a viral Facebook comment causes roving hordes of men to get “woke.” The men team up to form “Men Against Fire” … but has p.c. culture gone too far?

“Hated in the Nation”
After Sustine Jacco’s tweet is taken out of context, she becomes the most hated person in America. The country eggs her house and calls on her to be fired. They’re out for blood. All hope seems lost until author Ron Jonson attempts to rehabilitate her image using his advanced “actually” skills.

“Playtest”
If you die in the game, you die in real life.