Some Depraved Genius Turned the Eggplant Emoji Into a Sex Toy

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The emoji eggplant has been the pictographic phallus of choice since the birth of the Unicode Consortium way back when the dinosaurs roamed the Earth. And now, for just $32, you can bring home your own Emojibator, a sex-toy version of the emoji of choice of horny teens everywhere.

Featuring ten speeds, a fully waterproof casing, and measuring 4.84 by 1.22 inches, the battery-operated device seems fine as far as vibes go. Plus, bonus points for novelty value. (And the fact that the product specs just taught me that an eggplant is, in fact, not a vegetable, but rather a fruit.) You can buy one here, and the company promises to ship the device discreetly so your nosy neighbors wont know you are getting off on … well anyway, you get the idea.

Depraved Genius Turns Eggplant Emoji Into Sex Toy