Things New Yorkers Are More Afraid of Than ISIS

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Welcome to New York. It’s been waiting for you. And by “it,” I mean cockroaches, bedbugs, 6-train cars with broken air conditioners, and that guy dressed as an off-brand Tickle Me Elmo in Times Square leering at you. There’s a lot to be truly terrified of in this city.

Following the Chelsea bombing that occurred over the weekend, there was lots of talk online about how many New Yorkers weren’t fazed or scared by the incident and the potential groups or motives behind it. To which, Twitter user @BobbyBigWheel (known in the real world as Robert Wheel) started a running list of the things one actually has to fear in New York. Ranked number one: getting pushed onto the subway tracks. No. 8: finding out your neighbor has bedbugs. No. 1,563: ISIS.

Sparking a trend, the original tweet has inspired others to chime in with their own lists of NYC fears. (Keep in mind most of these people also work in media, so they make up something of a skewed cross-section of the city’s residents. Still, it seems safe to say that nobody wants to be crushed by an air conditioner.)

If you live here in New York, make your own list. It’s fun. All five of my fears involve my landlord realizing the many ways I’ve violated my lease and then making me pay for them. That and the Second Avenue subway actually opening up, making my apartment’s location suddenly convenient and subsequently causing my rent to spike. (Though I think I’d file that somewhere around No. 1,564 on my list. Right after ISIS.)