All the Times Google Threw Shade at Apple Today

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Google just announced its new phone, the Google Pixel. And while Sundar Pichai and all his friends talked to great length about the technical specs and power of this device (seven hours of battery life on a 15 minute charge! Swoon!), the things that really hooked me were the many ways Google threw shade at their competition today — you know, the other big tech company, with the name that rhymes with Snapple.

“Today, people want more than 1,000 songs in their pocket.”

Google’s senior vice-president of hardware Rick Osterloh introduced Pixel with a deep cut here, referencing Steve Job’s introduction of the first ever iPod back in 2001.

“I really love how this phone looks and feels … there’s no unsightly camera bump. [Uncomfortable laughter.]”

Osterloh, again, talking about Pixel. While Google’s new phone has a smooth back, the latest iPhone still has a raised camera that protrudes slightly from the device. Sick burn, Rick.

“This isn’t only the best camera we’ve ever made. It’s the best smartphone camera anyone has ever made.”

How the Google Pixel camera compares to the competition.Photo: Google

Brian Rakowski, head of software product management for Pixel, explaining that Google’s new phone’s camera received a DxOMark (French software company that rates phone cameras) rating of 89 compared to the iPhone 7’s 86. (We’ll call fair on this one, the camera does look sick.)

Look familiar? Good one, Google.

“With Pixel, you’ll never run out of space for your memories.”

Rakowski also announced that Pixel comes with “free unlimited storage for photos and videos at full resolution.” And then a slide popped up on the screen behind him that looked suspiciously like the notification you get when you run out of space on an iPhone.

“Gone are the days of staring at a progress bar while waiting for an update to install.”

Google Pixel ships with the newest version of the Android Nougat operating system and any time the OS has an update, the device will automatically download and install it in the background. (Read: While you are still using your phone as a phone.) “The next time you restart your phone, you’ll instantly be using the new version,” Pixel product-management team member Sabrina Ellis explained. “We just take care of it for you.” (Cough, cough: Looking at you here iOS 10 update from hell.)

And finally, Pixel, as Google proudly notes in its ad for the new phone, still has a 3.55mm headphone jack.

A truly courageous move, Google.