These Tiny Raccoon Hands Are Going to Haunt My Nightmares

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It’s almost Halloween and the world, on a whole, is getting even more frightening than usual. Creepy clowns are running amok. A creepy clown is running for president. And in case that wasn’t enough to scare you, we here at Select All would like to ruin your day with this truly horrifying video of some little raccoon hands clawing up from under a porch. (Possibly because the raccoons are hungry, but also possibly because they want to kill you. Who knows!)

Raccoons categorically are not bad. (In fact, Select All’s furry alter-ego is one.) But these raccoons, or at least their claw-covered hands, are nothing short of the devil’s playthings clearly sent here to snatch your soul. The video, which has just over 15,000 views on YouTube, comes from a user named Theodore Gifford who says he found the video freebooted on Facebook and couldn’t locate the original.

If you have any more information about this legion of undead trash diggers, please let me know. Or don’t, because I’m sure wherever this video came from is a hellscape into which I’d rather not venture.