Burger King’s Whoppercoin Is the Only Cryptocurrency That Matters

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Mmmm, that’s the smell of a good investment. Photo: Miguel Villagran/Getty Images

With the recent split in the Bitcoin market, the race is on to find the next hottest cryptocurrency. Should you put your money in Ethereum? Dash coin? (Is Dogecoin still around?) Or what about that weird proto-currency your friend’s cousin’s brother told you about?

Truth be told, investing in partially made-up virtual currencies is tough work. It requires a lot of faith and some intrepid Googling, but even then, there’s no guarantee you’ll end up with anything other than regret in six months. There are a lot of options out there, and not all of them even have the word “coin” in them!

It turns out that there’s a simpler way — one that doesn’t require anything but a love for aggressively mediocre burgers and a one-way ticket to Russia: Whoppercoin.

Whoppercoin is the new cryptocurrency of Burger King Russia, according to local news reports. It’s built on a simple principle that is universally understandable: Buy one Whopper, get one Whoppercoin. Finally, a way to satiate both your appetite and your need for rather useless virtual money!

Customers can obtain Whoppercoin by visiting a Burger King located in Russia; for every Whopper ordered, they’ll receive one Whoppercoin in their very own special cryptocurrency wallet. And although there’s no telling exactly what the exchange rate will be for the Whoppercoin, Coin Idol reports that customers of Burger King Russia will be soon able to use Whoppercoin to purchase their very own Whoppers.

What a world we live in, folks.

Whoppercoin Is the Only Cryptocurrency That Matters