Folks, fantastic news. The patriarchy has been dismantled. Who is to thank for this newfound equality, you ask? Hamburger Helper. The four-fingered cartoon-glove mascot, helmed by an unseen social-media manager somewhere, so severely burned one dude haranguing a woman on Twitter that sexism is over now. You can start unraveling your pink hats.
Here’s how it went down. The dude, Chris, tweeted a screenshot of a Snapchat — ostensibly sent by a woman — featuring a pan of Hamburger Helper and the caption “wife me.” To which Chris — not smart, not woke — claimed that cooking Hamburger Helper “doesn’t make you wife material.”
But Hamburger Helper — smart, woke — was not about to let that slide. The @Helper account quote-tweeted Chris’s original tweet questioning whether or not such behavior made him “husband material.”
Hamburger Helper, thank you.