Pictured above: Former president of the United States Barack Obama at Mitch’s Sushi Bar in Oahu, wielding a long, thin knife. Thanks to Facebook’s global community of 2 billion users, we now know that the 44th president enjoyed some sushi this weekend.
As a wise neckbeard once said:
When you were fretting about the future of American democracy, Obama studied the blade.
When you were tweeting about Russia, Obama mastered the blockchain.
While you wasted your days calling the FCC to defend net neutrality, Obama cultivated inner strength.
And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to Obama for help.
As his blade studies continue, the former president has reportedly been browsing the dark web searching for a cheap pair of sai to add to his arsenal. He is also reportedly headed to Costco for a bulk pack of bottled water to slice open in a YouTube video.