What’s the best thing about working here?
The clothes! I get an allowance, and on top of that, I spend maybe a thousand dollars on clothing a month. I just got this blue denim overall dress which I bought big, though it’s supposed to be fitted.
Oh, is excessive frumpiness a lingering trend?
The trends now are cropped jackets; skinny, skinny bottoms; and, like, big, big, big tops. But volume flatters every body type.
Any trends you can’t stand?
Chunky, chunky platforms. They can make people look like geishas.
Have you ever met Stella?
Yes. I was intimidated, but then she came right up to me and gave me a kiss.
Double kiss, on the cheek. Yes, we made contact. She smelled like her perfume.
What’s the best time to shop here?
Eleven a.m. And come alone. It’s distracting to shop with friends.
What’s the best seller?
The jumpsuits are hot. We have button-ups and zip-ups. Some creative types buy them to wear in the office.
How does Stella-Adidas compare with McQueen-Puma?
Stella’s line is more functional. McQueen only has sneakers, and Stella has a full range of performancewear. I get complimented on my shorts all the time at Crunch.
What will I never find at Stella?
Leather and fur, at least not the real kind.
Do you wear leather and fur?
No. Well, in real life, I do.