Memo to Brides: We Have Lives Too

Advice to brides on how to treat their bridesmaids.

• Published Fall 2005

From the Fall 2005 New York Wedding Guide

Yes, brides, you're the princesses of this parade, but remember that we're your friends, not your royal subjects. Want us to love you the day after the big day? Slip this tip sheet into your bridal workbook:

• Your wedding is certainly a dream come true. But like your dreams, the details are really interesting only to you. Mix up the conversation, ladies. Occasionally ask how we are.

• Be clear about what you expect from us, but remember that seventeen calls before noon don't make us more productive, it just pisses us off. And a pissed-off bridesmaid now is a passive-aggressive friend later.

• If you can't be flexible about our dresses-say, asking that we have an appropriate style made from a fabric of your choice-consider paying. If you're spending $20,000, $30,000, $100,000 on this production, you can splurge another grand for the costumes.

• Not all of us are going to get married one day, so don't just assume you'll be reciprocating the favor. Come our birthday, Christmas, Flag Day, we expect really nice gifts.