Valentine’s Day Gifts for Every Type of Woman (That You Can Buy on Amazon)

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As we noted in our mega Gift Guide for Every Type of Mom, not all women like the same things. Some are into fuzzy, pink handcuffs. Others like three-pound gummy worms. So what we’ve attempted to do below is find gifts for over 30 specific female archetypes that we hope will at least spark some ideas. And the fact that these are all available on Amazon means they’ll get here fast. (Giving a Valentine’s Day gift on February 15 is not a good look.) Stay tuned for Valentine’s Day Gifts for Every Type of Mom, coming up tomorrow …

For the woman who likes chocolate

Chocolate: It’s a classic gift for a reason. But don’t be a bore and get her a box of Godiva. Instead, pick up a couple bars from Marou, the widely beloved single-origin, handmade chocolate-makers from Vietnam. Plus, the wrappers are pretty.

For the woman who likes chocolate and cats

Katzenzugen means “cat tongues” in German, and not only are these chocolates delicious and bizarre, but they come in a lovely box that can double as a little keepsake holder.

For the woman who likes chocolate and bacon

Chocolate-covered bacon strips.

For the woman who likes chocolate and boobs

Chocolate, in the shape of boobs.

For the woman who doesn’t like chocolate

Get her a three-pound gummy worm instead!

For the woman who likes grapefruit

What is more romantic than pamplemousse à deux? You two can eat your morning grapefruit together like the civilized couple you are with this grapefruit-spoon kit that includes two serrated spoons and a special grapefruit knife.

For the woman who wears delicate earrings

From left to right: a pair of teeny-tiny Melissa Joy Manning hoops (here’s what they look like in the flesh); a pair of slightly larger, but equally delicate, Melissa Joy Manning hoops (here’s what they look like, on); and a dainty pair of gold staple studs.

For the woman who wears more-blingy earrings

These Kendra Scott danglers are made from drusy, mother-of-pearl, and opal stones.

For the woman who wears delicate necklaces

This 14k solid-gold necklace features a just-tiny-enough 2.8mm ruby in a tube bezel setting.

For the woman who wears more-blingy necklaces

If her style is a little less subdued, she’ll like this art-deco-y statement necklace from Kate Spade.

For the woman who wears delicate bracelets

A single pearl adorns this 14k gold oval-hammered bracelet. Note that the white flame pearl is not set in place, and moves freely around the bangle.

For the woman who wears more-blingy bracelets

This Kendra Scott cuff has two long stones on either side.

For the woman you met on Tinder

It’s a little cheesy, yes, but it’s also kind of sweet.

For the woman who needs a watch

A watch is always a nice gift — especially a Swatch watch in this Memphis Group-y array of colors. (Note: Amazon isn’t a verified Swatch dealer, so there’s no guarantee it’ll be real; nor is there a warranty included. If you want to play it safe, you can buy it straight through the Swatch website.)

For the woman who loves RBG

She’ll think of you when she’s dismantling the patriarchy.

For the woman who likes to explore

If the two of you like to take meandering walks on Sunday mornings through neighborhoods you don’t know, this book will offer some suggestions: The writer William Helmreich walked every single block of New York City (6,000 miles) and wrote about it.

For the woman you just started dating

Can’t go wrong with a Diptyque candle, especially a newly released Diptyque candle that the Cut says smells “new, earthy, and fresh.”

For the woman you just moved in with

New life together, new pair of supersoft Eberjey pajamas.

For the woman who likes tiny things

Bring this to her on Valentine’s Day morning and say “I made you breakfast!” Have a little chuckle about it, and then bring her the actual breakfast you made.

For the woman who likes having her feet rubbed

This automatic foot rubber features 18 rotating massagers, two speed levels, a heat function, and hundreds of very positive Amazon reviews.

For the woman who’s going to cook you dinner

She’ll appreciate this fancy utility knife from the prestigious Japanese knife line Masahiro. We found out about it because it’s chef Paras Shah’s favorite. He told us: “It’s been just about eight years since I’ve had this knife in my bag, and it’s been a good friend to me. The handle is wood and shows the years of use, and it just feels right in my hand.”

For the woman for whom you’ll be cooking dinner

If you plan on making her dinner, gifting her this romantic, intertwined candlestick from Menu (as well as some beeswax candles) is a nice way to kick off the evening.

For the woman who wants to learn how to watercolor

Pair this watercolor painting set (that includes 24 tubes of paint, three brushes, and paper) with two Introduction to Watercolor classes at Cooper Union (that maybe you two to can attend together!).

For the woman you’re about to go on vacation with

So the two of you can watch episodes of The Bachelor together on your flight to Paris.

For the woman who’s a little kinky

A box full of 50 “sexy” Truth or Dare questions.

For the woman who’s a little more kinky

Millennial pink, fuzzy handcuffs anyone?

For the woman who just got dumped

A cathartic coloring book featuring angry phrases like “You’re a prick” and “The clitoris. Google it.”

For the woman who just dumped you

Return the necklace to Tiffany’s, and leave a jar of these edible scorpions on her doorstep. Also a good joke gift for someone who thinks Valentine’s Day is stupid.

The Strategist is a new site designed to surface the most useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Some of our latest conquests include the best notebook, black T-shirts, fashion-editor-approved jeans, toothbrush, and apartment décor. Note that all prices are subject to change.

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Valentine’s Day Gifts for Every Type of Woman