Valentine’s Day Gifts for Every Type of Man (That You Can Buy on Amazon)

From a beard oil and bar cart to a Kermit cap and Macbook marble-izer.

The idea that there are gifts just for guys (Ties! Whisky stones! Wallets!) is so reductive as to be insulting. Some guys would like a nice piece of gold-plated jewelry. Others would love nothing more than a bath bomb, thank you very much. And maybe your guy wants to just play Nintendo! Turns out, lots of fun Valentine’s Day gifts can be found on Amazon (including those for her) — most of them with free shipping too. We went and turned up the best for every type of guy.

For the man who loves marble

Well, unless you’re looking to get him a slab of Italian travertine, this elegant MacBook case will have to do. For the man whose tastes run a bit more avant-garde (maybe you’re dating Alessandro Michele), there are floral motifs, too.

For the man who wants to work (out) from home

A (passive-aggressive?) way of encouraging your boo to work out sans gym membership. Just stick it in a doorway and watch him activate all those tiny, little stabilizer muscles. Note: Make sure the doorway is structurally sound.

For the man who’s addicted to Hot Cheetos

Objectively the most addictive chip (RiRi agrees), now you can portion out his vice with 50 one-ounce bags — read through the comments on Amazon and you’ll see that most come from people who gifted this to a grateful boyfriend.

For the man whose hands are covered in cheesy red dust

Because that Cheeto dust stains.

For the frequent traveler

It’s easy as pie to set this humidifier up — just stick it in a glass of water and you’re good to go. It charges via a USB cable, too, just like your Kindle or iPhone.

For the frequent traveler who loves his dog (or cat)

If your man is frequently out of town but needs to feed the dog, get him an automatic food dispenser that lets him schedule and portion out the exact amount via his phone. Saves you the trouble of having to convince his doorman to let you in the apartment.

For the man who considers himself the Don Draper of Bed-Stuy

A space-saving and modernist bar cart with (yes!) free shipping.

For the man who needs to accessorize his bar cart

Can you see the little indentation on this guy’s head? That’s what you use to open a bottle! When at rest, he’s just a sleek, little sculpture.

For the man who needs a better bar snack

No more Planters’ or Diamond’s or whatever wack snacks he’s been eating — the reviews on these spicy ghost-pepper peanuts (the hottest pepper in the world, if you’re keeping score) are, ahem, fire.

For the bacon obsessive

Okay, we’re getting into novelty gift territory here, but as they go, this is amazing — bacon toothpaste, trompe l’oeil bacon bandages, and bacon-flavored lip balm and toothpicks.

For the man who isn’t opposed to jewelry

These little gold bracelets are a handsome antidote to those cheesy, leather, or nautical rope things — it’s only gold-plated (rather than solid gold), too, so you can get one without spending too much.

For the stressed-out man you just started dating

Consider this a relationship litmus test — if he likes this cheap gift, congratulations, you have a winner! If not, he doesn’t deserve your Gudetama-appreciating heart anyway.

For the man who lives for memes

This hat would deadass be the best Valentine’s Day present for him, but that’s none of my business. Get one in white and be the cutest couple in 12th grade.

For the man who’s waiting patiently on his Nintendo Switch

If he’s got a Switch coming his way (lucky!), he’ll also need some games. Zelda’s obviously a classic, but you can also order him Mario Kart or Bomber Man, if that’s more his speed.

The Switch has a new (and not exactly intuitive) left-right controller. This little doohickey brings them together like a traditional handheld.

For the Nordic-phile

Hygge is so over, but if he’s into a lagom moment (that’s the Swedish idea of moderation), there’s plenty of that to be had in this Nordic-interiors porn book from German publisher Gestalten.

For the man who wants to tune out the world

Our own tech expert called these the very best wireless headphones under $150, and for an antisocial boyfriend, nothing quite says, “Buzz off” like a gigantic pair of over-the-ear headphones. If he needs something for a workout, though, these are the ones to get.

For the aesthetically driven man who wants to tune out the world

Danish electronics brand Bang & Olufsen makes audio products that are works of art — for stylishly blocking out loud coworkers.

For the sneakerhead-slash-control freak

Sneaker freaks revere Jason Markk for his intense devotion to sneaker cleaning (he has a space in L.A. with a full menu dedicated to it). For those who can’t make it out, his tried-and-true home products are the next best thing.

For the man who lives for a scalp massage

Ditch the janky spiders that look more like torture devices — this electronic massager (with rubber nubs for massaging the head) takes it to the next level.

For the man who thinks he’s Robert Redford in Three Days of the Condor

The style gods remain a holy trinity of Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, and, of course, Robert Redford. His aviators are always in style, from Three Days of the Condor in 1975 to today. Cool for a banker, a hipster, or everyone in between.

For the man who thinks he’s Robert Redford in All the President’s Men

If he’s looking to get blinged out, there’s nothing more classic than the black dial of the Rolex Submariner, as seen on Redford in All the President’s Men (among other films). And yes, you can buy an actual Rolex on Amazon.

For the man who loves the great outdoors

The ingenious hammock you lie in sideways (that’s the trick to not falling out!) also comes with its own portable bag — it’s a cinch to set up and bring on any camping trip.

For the man who only wants to pretend to be outdoors

If he prefers the scent of the outdoors rather than the actual thing, this candle is a bouquet of fir, pine, and cedar — right in the living room.

For the man who wants to bring music literally anywhere

We recently went to a party where the host pumped music through the apartment using a tiny speaker the size of a deck of cards. Lots of speakers claim to be ultraportable, but this one actually fits in your pocket.

For the man who needs iced coffee right now

The Hyperchiller features a tiny chamber that brings a beverage down 130 degrees in a single minute without diluting it at all. Excellent for instant iced coffee made from hot-brewed or chilled Scotch.

For the man who wants an aquarium

A desktop-sized cube aquarium for beta fish or goldfish comes with its own lamp for nighttime viewing.

For the (lazy) man who wants an aquarium

This aquarium requires zero maintenance — just watch the little prawns feed on the seaweed that’s already encased inside.

For the man who needs to maintain his beard

A multiple-award-winning oil helps keep his scruff moisturized and well-perfumed — a plus for the both of you.

For the man who needs to maintain his stubble

Unlike stubble trimmers that require separate attachments, this one lets you adjust it to the millimeter right from the trimmer itself.

For the man who enjoys a tub for two

Okay, this is really a treat for the both of you (assuming you have a tub that fits two), but for the man comfortable enough with his masculinity to hop on the bath bomb trend, this starter kit with vanilla- and fruit-flavored scents would be the ultimate night in.

For the man who just got out of a tub for two

You can’t make it out in the photo, but this luxe bathrobe comes with its own hood for a Druid-like effect (the verified-purchase reviews on Amazon are super-positive). So much more civilized than a boring, old bath towel.

For the physics nut

Like a spinning top with an optical illusion built in, you spin the disk on top of the mirror and watch it mimic the look of a solid orb. The toy even lets you swap out the patterns, too.

For the man who thinks he’s Taavo Somer

A brilliant wooden stool that really captures that rough-hewn Freemans aesthetic — for just a Benjamin (and free shipping).

For the man who’s always complaining about “American” chocolate

No, Hershey’s is not the same, but that’s why we Yanks like it. Nevertheless, give him a taste of home with a box of across-the-pond chocolates.

For the man who can’t let Pac go

Tupac is gone. Long live Tupac. A comfy hoodie that lets him declare his allegiance without a single word.

For the man who’s always getting his desk accessories swiped at work

What better way to fend off office thieves than desk accessories made of solid concrete? Brutalist cool, even minus the crime deterrence.

The Strategist is a new site designed to surface the most useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Some of our latest conquests include the best notebook, black T-shirts, fashion-editor-approved jeans, toothbrush, and apartment décor. Note that all prices are subject to change.

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Valentine’s Day Gifts for Every Type of Man (on Amazon)