While we all might be curious about the best plunger or probiotic tampon or cold-sore remedy, it can be difficult to discuss these more personal items. That’s why we’re tackling Things We Don’t Talk About, a series in which we track down the best hygiene-, sex-, and bodily function-related things we all need but might be too embarrassed to ask about. Today, recommendations on the best sex toys for men (just in time for Valentine’s Day).
The first thing to know about sex toys for men is that yes, they exist. “A lot of people are surprised that there can be products for men,” says Andy Duran, educational outreach coordinator at sex toy retailer Good Vibrations. People often think vibrators, for instance, are “very gendered and designed for women, [but] the reality is that our bodies are all pretty similar. We all have nerve endings that respond to vibration, or touch, or stimulation.” And while sexuality is highly personal, we set out to find a variety of options for a variety of preferences with the guidance of experts who would know best. We talked to nine different people, including sex shop owners and employees, sex educators, sex therapists, sex coaches, and sex podcasters to find the best toys for men.
Best prostate toys
“I think men are becoming much more open to exploring that part of their bodies,” says Samantha Bard, co-owner of the Williamsburg sex shop and event space, Shag. “When we talk about prostate play here, we call it the ‘P-spot.’ The P-spot can give you a different kind of orgasm than regular ejaculation. It’s a deeper, more filling orgasm, and if you can train your body to have a prostate orgasm as well as a regular orgasm, it could be a blended orgasm that’s really kind of out of this world.” Bard’s favorite prostate toy for beginners is the Blush Performance Plus, which has the high-grade silicone and rechargeable battery found in more advanced options, but is still simple and easily maneuverable for someone just starting out. “It’s smaller, so it’s not too intimidating.”
“The Aneros brand is synonymous with prostate massagers,” says Duran, and for good reason: before making adult toys, the company designed medical devices for prostate stimulation. Andy told us that some customers are initially skeptical about the Aneros toys; they can seem antiquated when compared to some of the more high-tech, silicone-clad options on the market, but Duran says this one “just links up perfectly anatomically to press the prostate.”
Lisa Finn, brand manager and sex educator at Babeland, says this one is great for beginners because it’s simple, affordable, and “perfect for wearing during any kind of play.” The bubbles give “an amazing anal bead-esque sensation” and the curved shape is “perfect for targeting the prostate.” It should be easy to clean and care for thanks to its all-silicone construction, too.
Justina Victoria, men’s sex coach and founder of the Sexual Mastery Center, likes the Lelo Billy. “I think [it’s] a bit less less intimidating than other prostate stimulators,“ says Victoria, so it’s a good choice for beginners or anyone just starting to explore. “I would use it as a way to help you feel into parts of your body that you may never have connected to or felt sensation in.”
The Wave might look similar to the Billy — they’re made by the same company — but it has a lot more going on under the hood. The Wave is one of the most high-tech prostate toys around, and a favorite of Museum of Sex Store buyer Kit Richardson, who praises its “dual-motor design.” It has an internal arm that moves in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the prostate, and a “strong vibrating external arm for optimal perineum stimulation.”
Kenneth Play, sex educator and co-founder of the sex-positive intentional community Hacienda, says that while the nJoy Pure Wand is mostly known as a G-spot stimulator for women, “it’s also the ultimate prostate toy.” He likes its long, curved shape, which “makes it ideal for self-pleasure without arm strain.” Lisa Finn at Babeland is another fan: “Pure magic when it comes to prostate play!” The balls at either end “provide a firm, targeted pressure that’s unlike any other toy on the market.” She especially loves how the medical-grade stainless steel “warms quickly with body heat,” and suggests running it under warm or cool water for some “temperature play.”
Finn says that if you love the stainless-steel construction of the Pure Wand, but want something in a slightly smaller package, this is the one for you. The smooth teardrop shape “makes for easy insertion,” while “the weight of the steel gives a delicious feeling of fullness.” Like its “big brother,” the Pure Plug’s steel body makes it a great choice for anyone “looking to explore temperature play.”
“Cock rings are very important as a male pleasure toy,” says Bard. She particularly likes the We-Vibe Pivot: “[It’s] really popular, definitely the ‘Cadillac’” of cock rings. “You can control it on the actual toy if you want,” says Bard, but the best part is the included smartphone app. “You can share it with up to ten people, and they can control it from anywhere in the world and fully customize the vibration patterns.” Or you can also use it from across the dinner table. “It’s [even more discreet] than having a remote in your pocket,” because it just looks like you’re on your phone.
This one’s a more affordable vibrating ring that’s great for beginners. Duran likes vibrating rings because they’re “like two toys in one.” While the wearer gets the benefits of blood-flow restriction, “your partner will feel that vibration on their body during intercourse.” He adds: “Even if it doesn’t work out as a vibrating ring, you still have this great vibrator or this great ring you can use separately.”
Sometimes you just want something super simple, and you can’t go wrong with this minimalist silicone ring. Use it “to enhance masturbation or partner play, or to prolong playtime before orgasm,” suggests Finn. You can also use it “as a bumper to prevent too-deep thrusting during intercourse.”
“Incredibly discreet, super cute, make really good gifts, and they’re only $10,” says Bard. Each egg has a different rib inside, and while they’re designed to be “single-use,” she says that if you regularly wash it with soap and water, you can definitely extend that lifespan. It’s known as a masturbation toy, but “it doesn’t have to be just a solo thing.” It can also be a lot of fun to use with a partner. “In fact, probably half our customers who buy it are females buying it for their boyfriends or partners,” adds Bard. Duran also loves the Tenga Egg, especially for travel: “I sell a lot [of these] to guys going on trips. I often say, ‘Hey, throw this in your backpack while you’re going away for the weekend,’ and just throw it out before you come back.’ … It’s just a little treat.” (They’re also available in a variety pack of six inside a cute mini egg carton).
Probably the newest and most innovate stroker toy around, the Manta is very popular amongst those in the know. “It’s unlike any other sex toy on the market,” says Finn. “The soft, velvety silicone head is contoured to flex around the penis, and is designed with ridges along the inside of the wings that holds lubricant in place for added sensation.” Richardson is a big fan of the Manta as well: “It’s perfect if you’re looking to intensify a BJ or masturbation routine.”
Many men are familiar with the original Fleshlight toy, and the Quickshot is constructed with the same material that made the original famous, but it’s a bit more streamlined. Finn likes the open-ended design because it makes for easier cleanup, and she says that while it’s great to use on your own, it can be especially fun with a partner: “Try incorporating the Quickshot into a blow job by twirling it along the base of the shaft.”
Made by Tenga — of Egg fame — the Flip Zero is another one of Duran’s favorite sleeves. “The great thing about the Flip Zero is that unlike some of the other sleeves” in rigid plastic containers, this one has a flexible case that responds to touch. “It gives people the opportunity to still adjust and feel their own hand strength, or [their] partner’s hand strength, instead of just relying on the product.”
This stroker is made for trans men, designed in collaboration with renowned adult film star, producer, and trans advocate, Buck Angel. It’s about the “same size as the Tenga Egg, but with a smaller opening,” says Duran. “It helps a lot of guys feel they’re getting the same effect of stroking or jerking off as opposed to other ways that would be more clitoral-focused.”
This is one of Bard’s favorites, and she says it’s an all-time best seller at Shag. “It makes for a great surprise … Your partner has no idea that you’re wearing an oral sex lip gloss, it looks just like regular lip gloss.” She describes the effect as “a fire-and-ice sensation that escalates.” It’s also very discreet. “I keep one in my bag,” says Bard.
While most experts agree that silicone lubes are generally the best, silicone lube is not compatible with silicone toys. You may have noticed that most of these toys are covered in silicone, so you’ll need a good alternative. Finn recommends this water-based lube from Sutil because it “delivers long-lasting slickness similar to a silicone lube while being completely compatible with all condoms and silicone toys.” It’s made from natural, premium ingredients and is fragrance-free, taste-free, and odor-free.
Laurie Watson, sex therapist and co-host of the Foreplay podcast, often recommends men try out this Accuvibe handheld massager. The Accuvibe is a vibrator designed for women, so it might seem like a strange suggestion, but Watson explains: “I have some guy friends who, when I talk about prostate stimulation anally, they’re like, ‘Oh, no, I’m never going to do that!’” The Accuvibe is a great option for men who are hesitant about internal prostate stimulation, but still curious to explore it. “You can use this [externally] on the perineum space,” says Watson, so it can be a more approachable way to start trying new things.
We spoke with a lot of sex shop owners and buyers to put this list together, and they kept mentioning this new brand called b-Vibe, which specializes in anal plugs. “These are pretty cool because they’re weighted on the inside with one or two steel balls,” says Duran. “You won’t see it, but when it’s in the body you feel those weights a little. It’s a great way to see if you’re into anal stimulation.” They’re available in four different sizes, so you can choose whatever feels most comfortable.
A higher-tech option from b-Vibe that a bunch of the experts were particularly excited about. “So many nerves are concentrated at the anal opening, it’s an exquisitely sensitive spot, which is why rimming feels so good,” says Finn. According to Richardson at the Museum of Sex Shop, this toy is “unique to the anal-play market.” It “simulate[s] the sensation of rimming” with its “vibrating head and rotating beads in the neck and base.” Another great feature is the remote control, which Duran really appreciates: “No one wants to reach all the way back and change the speed, so having a remote handy is great.” This one works equally well solo or with a partner. (This is the “petite” version, but it’s also available in the original standard size).
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