Breaking! There's a monkey on the loose in La Guardia Airport! We repeat, monkey on the loose! The Times' City Room blog reports that the primate disembarked from Spirit Airlines flight 180 from "the Miami–Ft. Lauderdale area." It's running amok in the main terminal, but we suspect they'll catch it quickly: Based on its point of origin, we have to assume it's traveling down the moving walkway about ten miles per hour under the limit, and with its left blinker on.
UPDATE: The Times was a bit monkey-happy on this one. There was a contraband primate on a flight, apparently, but it was never on the loose. Nonetheless, please continue to enjoy the above picture.
A Monkey on the Loose at Laguardia [City Room/NYT]
• The political world is waking up to a queasy query — is Mike Bloomberg a Ross Perot or a Ralph Nader (or, one hopes, neither)? Of course, the man himself is no help: He still says he's not running. [NYT]
• Rudy Giuliani's campaign, meanwhile, seems to be aiming squarely at the high-school-hooligan vote. First it comes out he'd been booted off the Iraq Study Group for truancy. Now his former South Carolina campaign chairman has been indicted for — are you ready for this? — selling crack. [NYDN]
• If you tried leaving the city last night, you're, well, probably still here. The three area airports canceled hundreds of flights because of the major thunderstorms blazing from here to the Midwest. [WNBC]
• The new city regulation requiring fast-food places to post calorie count on their menus is now not going into effect until the legal fight over it plays out. So far, it's had the opposite effect — Quizno's and White Castle deleted all nutritional info from their Websites altogether. [amNY]
• And two female marriage-license clerks are allegedly terrorizing Bronx couples by refusing to do their jobs and closing the office early. Maybe they're stealth Dworkinites. [NYP]