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Do John Malone and Barry Diller Have Irreconcilable Differences?

DillerMalone
Well, it's time. With heads bowed and hearts, perhaps, heavy, longtime partners Barry Diller and John Malone will appear in Delaware chancery court today, where a judge will help the two moguls, who have been financially intertwined for the past twenty years, make up or break up. The court visit comes after a lengthy and sometimes ugly public battle, during which Malone maligned Diller's lavish lifestyle and Diller called Malone "crazy," among other things. For two well-regarded, exceedingly clever businessmen, it has been something of an undignified spectacle. Why, many are asking, couldn't they just work it out?

Exclusive Comics Excerpt: ‘Haunted’

Today on the Comics Page, we're proud to present an excerpt from Haunted, a new graphic novel by a winner of the Grand Prix at the 2008 Angoulême Festival, Philippe Dupuy.

She Was a Day-tripper, Ferry Driver, Yeah!

Coney Island: "Imagine getting on a ferry at Hunt's Point for a day trip" here! That's what Christine Quinn floated yesterday in her big speech. Could it really happen? [Kinetic Carnival] East Village: McMansion mogul Robert Toll's 27-year-old NYU social-work-student son Jacob lives with two of his buds in a $2.2 million condo in his dad's glossy new One Ten 3rd building. How will he pay that mortgage on a social worker's salary? (Cue cynical chortles.) [NYO] Midtown: Wouldn't it be cool if the retired math professor who nearly died of a bondage incident in a sex club here could get his wife in on his S&M thing instead of having to shamefully confess it to her in the Post? Now he's vowing to break his addiction. Why not just go safe, sane, and consensual? [Gothamist]

Breaking: Beard Nominees Sent to Judges

James Beard Award judges just received their “long lists” — the nominees from which the five finalists in all nineteen categories are drawn. So if you’re not on this list, you’re out. We got a copy as well, so look for your name after the jump.

UBS Replaces Old Jerk With New Jerker

Jerker
Jerker Johansson, a 22-year veteran of Morgan Stanley and a close ally of former Morgan Stanley co-president Zoe Cruz, who was fired in December, was named the head of UBS's investment-banking operations this morning. He takes over from Huw Jenkins, who left in October after write-downs due to the subprime crisis, and CEO Marcel Rohner, who was serving as the interim head and who last month had the pleasure of announcing the largest-ever quarterly loss by a bank. Also, he is Swedish. Okay, let's face it: Dude will be based in London, so it's not like we care about him that much. We just wanted to say, Jerker. Jerker, Jerker, Jerker. Heh. UBS Names Johansson Chief for Investments [WSJ]

The Last Days of Café Gray?

Café Gray’s days at the Time Warner Center may be numbered, sources tell us. It’s not clear whether the move, if it comes, stems from the building’s sky-high rent (which doomed Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s V Steakhouse) or because the chef has something else planned. Kunz, for his part, denies that he is going anywhere. "This rumor is completely unfounded," he says, "and business has been brisk." So if Café Gray does vacate, who can handle the tower? We hear a prominent Italian restaurant will fill the Café Gray space. You'll know more when we do.

The $4 Di Fara Slice: We Break It Down

Dom De Marco raised the price of a Di Fara's slice to $4, and Chowhounders are aghast, reports Slice's Adam Kuban. But do the accusations of making a quick buck lobbed against the Saint of Avenue J have any merit? We did a little research into the cost of ingredients at Di Fara and confirmed our suspicion that De Marco doesn't make much money.

Rosé-Sparkler Tastings in Clinton Hill; Eat Cake, Not Dinner for Valentine’s Day

Chelsea: The former Daniele’s Piadina space on 22nd Street east of Sixth Avenue sat empty for two years, but it will reopen as a sandwich shop called Ashby’s on Monday. [Eat for Victory/VV] Clinton Hill: Gnarly Vines is hosting a rosé-sparkler tasting tonight, tomorrow, and Wednesday evening from 6 to 9 p.m., and bottles of those sample selections are 10 percent off. [Clinton Hill Blog] Dumbo: The ‘D’ Space Restaurant at Jay and Front streets serves Indian buffet, but will it raise the bar on local delivery options? [Dumbo NYC] Flatiron: Shaffer City Oyster Bar & Grill will close February 23 and reopen in March as Flatiron Joe’s with cheaper American fare and a jukebox. [Zagat] Fort Greene: In her list of last-minute Valentine’s Day options, Danyelle Freeman recommends Cake Man Raven if you want to "just forget dinner and grab a few whopping slices of the decadent red velvet cake that made this bakery famous." [Restaurant Girl] Soho: In honor of this romantic week, it’s only right that bananas (and resulting desserts around town) are celebrated for being "not only insanely phallic but also brimming with potassium and B vitamins, which are necessary for keeping your sex drive going." But you don’t have to tell your date that after deciding to share Blue Ribbon Brasserie’s top-rated banana split. [Gridskipper] West Village: Pig's-feet and collagen temple Hakata TonTon has been closed by the Department of Health. [Eater]

Jason F. Is Called ‘Douche’ by His Friends

Question Man
We admit it. We read Portfolio's story on Outsourcing Valentine's Day twice before we realized it was written by the comedian Andy Borowitz and therefore, totally fake. Yes, we're gullible. But aren't magazines supposed to put disclaimers on this stuff nowadays? Especially when they have paragraphs such as this?
Jason F., a risk arbitrageur whose friends call him “Douche” relates a cautionary tale. “My assistant spent weeks researching the perfect gift for my girlfriend and chose a Givenchy handbag that matched her eye color. But as soon as my girlfriend unwrapped it, she smelled a rat — so much thought had gone into it, she knew that I couldn’t have been involved.”
Okay, a Givenchy handbag that matched her eye color — that, we don't buy. But a hedge-fund guy named Jason F. whose friends call him "Douche"? That sounds completely plausible. In fact, we bet that some of you readers know guys named Jason F that are — or should be — called "Douche." Submit their names in comments below. Outsource Valentine's Day [Portfolio]