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Inventing Drama at the ‘Sleuth’ Premiere

Jude and Michael
Like any good red-carpet watcher, at the premiere of Sleuth, we did our best to sniff out some drama between stars Jude Law and Michael Caine, director Kenneth Branagh, and writer Harold Pinter. With all those egos on one set, sparks must have flown! But apparently, unlike catty actresses, men can get along on a set. "They’re extremely funny and easy to work with," said director Kenneth Branagh, as Caine and Law told us they "loved" each other. Well, fine. They all "love" screenwriter-playwright Harold Pinter, too, apparently. "Thirty years ago, I did a monologue from a Pinter play for my audition for drama school, and it’s taken me 30 years to meet the guy and work with him, and it was a real thrill,” Branagh told New York. "When I knew him, he was an actor called David Baron," Caine said, one-upping Branagh (ooh, let's project some tension here!). "He decided to write plays, and he thought, 'I’ll use my real name,' he told me, which is Harold Pinter," Caine explained. "And so I did his first one, and then he wrote all this great stuff, and I wasn’t in any of it!" Caine says that though he and Pinter are friends, this is only the second of the famous scribe's works he's performed in. "I thought, I’m the one who started you, and then no one gave me any more," he said. "I was sort of pissed off!" Yeah, that's right. Fight, fight, fight! –Bennett Marcus Find more photos and chatter from Bebe Neuwirth, Joan Collins, and others at our complete coverage of Sleuth's New York premiere.

Tina Brown Rejects Our Overtures

Tina Brown
We ran into Tina Brown while waiting for the elevator at the last night's Heart On! benefit at Lincoln Center and thought we'd make polite conversation. How about Dan Rather suing CBS? we asked, as the elevator failed to arrive. "I'm a fan of Dan Rather so I want to know how it will turn out," she said, poking impatiently at the elevator button. So are we! Maybe we can be friends with Tina. "I'd like to see it reinvestigated, so let's put it that way," she said. "I keep missing the elevator." Since we were standing there, we thought we'd get to know her a little better.

Fireworks, Cake, Paul Anka: Nothing at the Plaza Could Heal Matthew Broderick's Pain

Matthew Broderick
The Plaza Hotel's 100th anniversary last night ought to have been a joyous celebration. The Orchestra of St. Luke's played a forties-Hollywood soundtrack. Yitzhak Tshuva, the Israeli mogul who turned the hotel into condos, smiled and laughed among some 200 family members and his favorite singer, Paul Anka. Gucci brought really cool fireworks — they even shot rockets off the roof of the building — and a twelve-foot, one-ton Ron Ben-Israel cake in the building's image was admired and then eaten. And it was good. And yet, Matthew Broderick, there to toast the happy occasion, could barely contain his sorrow.

Bill Clinton Did Not Even See Shakira This Weekend

Bill, Chris, and Wyclef
Shakira shook her lower body vehemently during her performance of "Hips Don’t Lie" at Saturday night's MTV-produced event for Bill Clinton's Global Initiative Conference, but Clinton, sitting front-row center, would not oblige her by looking, at least not in public. Instead, he focused hard on Wyclef Jean. Lest we forget, Bubba is all about the music. "I’ve always wanted to play the Apollo," he admitted later. "I’ve been invited to play amateur night a number of times, but I’m afraid. If the audience doesn’t like you, they actually take a hook and pull you off!" Ha! It's not like the White House, is it then? But Clinton was distracted by MTV News personality Sway, who walked by wearing a Rasta hat and dreadlocks. Apparently the two men had bonded earlier in the evening. “I thought we were going to talk more about hair grooming,” Clinton asked Sway plaintively. “You could grow the locks, man,” Sway said, regarding the president's tufty white head. "It’ll change your life.” Clinton laughed. "I think it's too late for that," he said. Don't be silly, Bill! It's never too late for a new look!Jada Yuan

Don't Tell Hillary Clinton About Any Surprise Parties

Russell Simmons
It seems that a certain potential future leader of the free world can’t keep a secret. In a continuation of their very Demi Moore–Bruce Willis split, Kimora Lee Simmons planned a surprise 50th-birthday party for her hip-hop-mogul ex, Russell Simmons, at Gustavino’s last night. How Kimora expected to keep the party under wraps (especially when she’d invited the press) we have no clue. But Russell was in the dark, we hear, until Saturday night, when Hillary Clinton almost blew it.

The Honorable Regis Philbin

Getty Images
At Jeffrey Toobin's party for The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court on Tuesday, free copies of the book were nowhere to be found, much to the chagrin of one late arriver, Regis Philbin. "I can't get my hands on the book! All the free copies are gone!" he told us, upset because he had wanted to read the book and hold it up on his show. "I don't know how the etiquette works. But usually when you go to a book party, they give you the book! Do you have the book?" We didn't. "Are you disappointed?" Welll … now that you mention it, yeah! "You should be! I think you deserve it!" Wow, Regis really knows how to rile up a crowd, we thought. And as if reading our mind, he took that moment to throw his hat into politics. “I should be on the Supreme Court,” he said.

Patrick McMullan Knows Everyone (Almost)

Patrick McMullan
Everyone we talked to at Patrick McMullan's Glamour Girls book launch party last night at the Whitney agreed: Patrick knows everybody. Just not always their names. Though he signed books with personalized messages for hundreds of guests, he wasn’t always sure exactly who they were. "His mind goes blank sometimes," said designer Esteban Cortazar, McMullan's "friend" for the past ten years. "Then he'll remember it and apologize forever." Michael Musto, godfather to McMullan's son, recalled, "He's always pulling you over to have you meet someone you already know. Once he said, 'Oh Kelly Catrone! Do you know Robbie Catrone?' And they had been divorced. That's why they had the same name." We asked Patrick what his most embarrassing slip-up was. "One time I spit on Kelly Ripa by accident," he said, while socialites fawned over him as he sat behind a white lacquered table signing books (purchased by guests for $75 a pop). But there are some women left in the world he has yet to meet. Such as: "The Queen of England. I think her and I would be able to get along,” he said. “We could watch television programs together," he said. "Or Camilla. If we could talk about horses and dogs I think that would be fun." — Amy Odell Get more McMullan gossip from Vera Wang, Muffie Potter Aston, and others at our complete party coverage.

Chloë Sevigny Doesn't Need Your Love

Chloe Sevigny
New York ran into Chloë Sevigny at Public last night, at the party for Sebaka Wines. We were like, "Chloë, how arrrrre you." Then we went ahead and asked her how she feels about all the people who have been making fun of the fashion line she recently debuted at Opening Ceremony. Her reaction was totally hippie meets hip-hop, a little bit like the look she is rocking on the left. "There will always be haters," she said. "I'm just living my life." —Andrew Goldstein

Georgina Chapman Has a Secret Rocker Past

Georgina Chapman
Remember when Georgina Chapman was best-known for dating Harvey Weinstein, and people thought it was cute that she thought she could be a designer? And then it turned out that her Marchesa evening gowns were a big hit with Weinstein's celebrity friends and even Anna Wintour has taken interest? Well, it seems all her whimsical career experiments weren't as successful. While at high school in England, the onetime model-actress started a band, even though she admits to being "completely unmusical." "It's very embarrassing," she told New York at the premiere of Control, Anton Corbijn's film about late Joy Division lead singer Ian Curtis. Chapman started her own band with a young gal pal. "We called ourselves Jesus and Mary Jane, and we sang in our school chapel at night in boarding school," Chapman admitted. "We were 13, and we thought we were 20." Too bad ol' Harv wasn't around back then to make some calls. Or, you know, thank God.—Amy Odell

Iraq Trips Hamper Anderson Cooper's Gym Schedule

Anderson Cooper
Last night we sent a reporter to Elton John's AIDS Foundation benefit with a mission: Find Anderson Cooper and ask him about his bodacious new biceps. Bennett Marcus, our intrepid interviewer, took on the task and confronted Cooper about his ginormous guns. Below is what transpired: Your biceps are really big lately. How are you working out? “Wow. What is my workout routine — I’ve never been asked that question! Um, I don’t know [Ed. note: At this point, Cooper appeared to be dying of flustration.], I’ve just been … working with a trainer and uh, I don’t know, lifting a little weight, and running a little. I don’t know. Is that new? The trainer and the rest? Uh, you know, I just turned 40, so yes, I’m trying to be a little bit healthier now and trying to eat a little bit more sensibly. And also, with traveling so much, you know, it’s tough when you’re in Iraq to do anything, so I try to work out when I’m here. [Ed. note: Best. Quote. Ever.] This is really … I sound ridiculous.

Tuesdays With Morley

Morley Safer
You know how, even in a city as big as New York, there's that one person you always run into? New York has that, only our guy is 60 Minutes host Morley Safer, who is quite the man-about-town. We saw Morley last Tuesday at the Feast of Love screening, and then ran into him again at the Met Opera last night, where he told us a wonderful little story about back in the day.
At 60 Minutes I lost it [laughing] half a dozen times. Once I fell asleep in the middle of an interview. The guy I was interviewing … I'm not going to mention. He was a very prominent retired spymaster. He insisted I have a couple of whiskeys, but I'd been flying for twelve hours and driving for four. The cameraman pulled his arm around the camera and pulled my ear. I woke up — and collapsed again. He didn't notice. A dotty old Englishman.
We don't know about you, but we're pretty sure we learned something about Life from this. —Tim Murphy

At ‘Michael Clayton’ Premiere, George Clooney's Wit Still Blunted After Motorcycle Crash

George Clooney
Last night at the Ziegfeld premiere of his film Michael Clayton, George Clooney was feeling jokey. He approached writer-director Tony Gilroy and pointed at the Hilton across the street. "Hey," he said. "You know Ahmadinejad is next door?" "Is he?" Gilroy asked back, probably aware that the Iranian president was in town but probably unaware of his hotel preference. "He literally is," said Clooney. "How big is that?" "Is he coming here tonight?" Gilroy asked his star, playing along. "Yeah, he's coming to the screening," Clooney laughed, as Brad Pitt scampered down the carpet past reporters. For witnesses, it felt like being on the set of Ocean's Fourteen, only more self-congratulatory and less airbrushed. Speaking of which, we asked Clooney whether he's had a midlife crisis. "Just this morning!" he said. "I'm fine now, I got over it." (His secret is Percodan.) After recovering from Clooney's barrage of wit, we asked his co-star Tilda Swinton if he ever played jokes on her while on set. “I think his very existence is an entire joke on humanity," she told New York. We were just thinking the same thing. —Bennett Marcus

At the Met Opening Night: Celebrities Gone Wild

Jane Fonda
"I'm frankly not too big on opera," Jane Fonda confided at the opening of the Metropolitan Opera's season last night. "I don't like the inevitable tragic-ness of it." Indeed, Lucia di Lammermoor was a major downer, although an entertaining one: Natalie Dessay, in the title role, brought down the house with a hair-raising mad scene. Has Jane ever lost it like that? "In a scene in a movie, but never in life," she said. "My mother did that for me. I didn't have to go there again." Uh, okay, dead mother, we're super-uncomfortable now. Oh, hey, it's Barbara Walters!

Mariah Carey Even Out-Divas Bill Clinton at ‘Save the Music’ Fête

Bill Clinton
Event planners for last night's "VH1: Save the Music" benefit were so accustomed to diva Mariah Carey's lateness that they built in an hour's delay into their schedule. As a result, the songstress arrived right just in time, joining stars like Conan O'Brien, John Mayer, James Blunt, Jon Bon Jovi, Mya, and Quincy Jones. Hillary Clinton was supposed to be there but sent her husband instead. "“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m doing tonight what I hope I’ll be doing for all of us for the next several years," Clinton told the crowd. "I’m just sort of standing here for Hillary.” Read more about what the stars said in our complete "Save the Music" Party Lines.

It's Good to Be Dr. Ruth

Dr. Ruth
Sex follows some women everywhere, even the New York Philharmonic. Tuesday evening, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, 79 years of age and four-foot-seven in height, stood in the aisle waiting for Yo-Yo Ma’s opening-night performance. “Mort Zuckerman just came up and kissed me and said that I’m the best woman around,” she told New York. “And he had a date! She just stood there and smiled. What could she do?” She beamed. “It’s wonderful to be Dr. Ruth!” Westheimer had had a busy day. A study had just been released, showing that 55 percent of divorced women aren’t having sex, and everyone wanted her advice. “If she’s divorced and doesn’t have a partner, it makes sense,” she said. “But I hope that she keeps her libido, her desire for sex, alive. That she goes out, that she looks around if there are any eligible people, and if not, I do say that until she finds a partner, I want her to masturbate."

Amy Sedaris Kills Roaches With Her Bare Hands

Amy Sedaris
Last night, comedian and cupcake maker Amy Sedaris hosted a party for Ikea Home and told New York all about her own domestic life. "I have Pergo floors you can only get at Ikea," she explained, adding that she didn’t install them herself. "My friend Todd Oldham, who is a designer, put them in. I laid on the couch and smoked pot and was like, 'That one looks crooked.'" Likewise, she admits, when she got a Weber Grill, she made her brother (humorist David Sedaris) put it together for her. "He put the wheels on backward and literally had a pile of leftover screws. I said, 'What is that?' and he said, 'Well, that's, you know, the leftover screws they give you,'" the Strangers With Candy star said. "It literally didn't even roll around." On household pests, Sedaris is a true expert. "There's never just a mouse. You have to find the hole! I'm telling you! I had a cheese-ball business in my apartment, and I had a huge mouse problem," she says. "I have cockroaches too! I kill those with my hand." No doubt everyone who buys Sedaris's famous homemade cupcakes will be delighted to hear it. —Jocelyn Guest

Jay-Z Smells Beautiful (He Says) at Diddy Perfume Party

Sean "Diddy" Combs probably wasn't even aware that the air at the party for his perfume, Unforgivable Woman, smelled bad. The combination of the packed crowd and oddly rank steam machine on the fourth floor overpowered efforts by guests to have any scent of their own, unforgivable or otherwise — but Diddy was up above the clouds on the fifth floor, with Ashton Kutcher. Stuck waiting at the foot of the stairs for two hours, we asked passing celebrities what they imagined they themselves smelled like. "Oh, I smell incredibly beautiful," Jay-Z told New York. "I smell like you just got out of the shower, you have on the towel and you just got your sheets on your bed and you're laying and you wrap yourself up. I smell like that." We tried to follow up with Beyoncé, but she only had the time to say that she was "hot," which we had an easier time believing. "If a man falls in love with me, I would rather he fall in love with me than the perfume," Eartha Kitt mused. "But if you need the perfume to help you, then that's why I'm here. Because I want to see if Sean's perfume is beautiful for somebody that I would like to have." When we were finally allowed up to see His Diddyness, he deigned to answer a couple of simple questions. So what does Unforgivable smell like? "Confident, seductive, understated," he told us. After two hours at the foot of the stairs, we begged to differ. —Amy Odell

Rufus Wainwright Really Likes Sausage

Rufus Wainwright
Parties for movies about human sex trafficking are a bummer. We guess we should have known that when we trekked over to the U.N. for the premiere of Trade, where we spent most of the night trying not to catch a case of self-righteousness from Mira Sorvino, Sigourney Weaver, Gloria Steinem, or the movie's director, Kevin Kline. Happily, Rufus Wainwright was there. He had a song in the movie. “It’s by far my favorite placement of one of my songs in any films to date," he said. "There's nothing like having a song of yours play while somebody’s jumping off a cliff!” Rufus has a sense of humor! He also eats red meat. Jorn, his current German boyfriend, often cooks him Wiener schnitzel. “And every night for dessert,” he added, “we have sausage.” —Bennett Marcus

Beware of Brooks Bearing Pickled Herring

Mel Brooks
We’ve always kind of thought this, but now we know for sure: Mel Brooks’ entire life is like a slapstick comedy. We spotted him at last night’s New Yorkers for Children Annual Fall Gala, fresh from rehearsals from his Young Frankenstein, which opens on Broadway in November. “One day I brought in some pickled herring, a jar of pickled herring, for the dancers — a gift!” the director-producer-comedian told us gleefully. “But I spilled, and three dancers slipped and fell. But! The way they fell gave Susan Stroman [the choreographer] a great idea for a slide.” “So you’re a choreographer now, too?” New York asked. “No, no,” he demurred. “I just help with the slides. —Elizabeth Brown

Brad Pitt Concedes Own Boringness at ‘Jesse James’ Premiere

Is America finally becoming celebrity fatigued? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie arrived nice and early at the premiere of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford and benevolently went directly to greet fans lined up across from the Ziegfeld Theatre. We expected a zoo — this is Brangelina, the apex of celebrity — but there were only a few fans behind the (barely necessary) barricades. So fortunately for us waiting with recorders, the autograph signing and cell-phone-picture-taking took only about five minutes, and then the golden ones were on the red carpet, beaming, smiling, and looking very much in love. We asked Angelina (who was looking lovely and remarkably un-praying-mantis-like) if her son Maddox is into cowboys and Indians. She rewarded us with a laugh, saying he wasn't really, but "he liked his spurs when he had them." And Maddox won't be seeing Jesse James, she said. "It's Daddy being really violent!" Daddy himself wasn't feeling contemplative as he walked the carpet, instead seeming a little bored with it all. When a perky MTV producer threw him the standard softball, "What did you learn from doing this movie?" Pitt didn't swing for it. "I didn't learn shit, really," he said. Is it possible even Brad Pitt is tired of himself? —Bennett Marcus See more pictures and quotes from the premiere in Party Lines.