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And You Shall Name Your Children ‘Carlos’

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For a very long time at Shea Stadium last night, nothing happened. Pitchers Tom Glavine and Jeff Weaver defied age and mediocrity, respectively, and went back and forth like Tom Seaver and Bob Gibson. Albert Pujols, the world's best hitter (and, according to scientists, the fastest finger-tapper since Babe Ruth), struck out and lined out. The Mets took turns politely grounding out to second base. It started raining. Ugly Betty pulled at the remote from two channels up. You could feel the crowd getting more and more nervous the longer Glavine pitched — it was like watching the makeout scene in a horror movie. Then, finally, something did happen, the first potentially defining moment of the Mets' playoffs.

Bloomberg Bets Cheapo St. Louis Mayor

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Mayor Bloomberg and his St. Louis counterpart, Francis Slay, have made the traditional my-sports-team-is- taking-on-your-sports-team-so-let's-show-off-our-local- delicacies bet, dependent on the fate of the Mets-Cardinals series (finally) kicking off tonight, as Gothamist notes this afternoon. So what are the local delicacies in question? Should the Cards win, Bloomberg will send over a tasty — if not quite healthy — Big Apple cornucopia: Italian subs from Leo's Latticini and Mama's of Corona, ice cream from Eddie's Sweet Shop in Forest Hills, a pizza alla vodka and the Smokin' Goodfella pizza from Goodfella's Pizzeria on Staten Island, a case of Brooklyn Lager, and a tub of lemon ice from the Lemon Ice King in Corona. Generous, right? Now consider what Mayor Slay is promising Bloomberg in the event of a Mets win: "two Imo's thin-style pizzas, toasted ravioli from the Pasta House Company, and a gift basket from Bissinger's Chocolate." Is it our imagination, or is that obviously stingy? And, more than that, does it have anything to do with the Gateway to the West? Come on, St. Louis, throw in some barbecue or custard or something. A Nelly CD, at least? Mayor Bloomberg and St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay Announce Friendly Wager on National League Championship Series [NYC.gov] Mr. Met Wants A Better Bet Friendly Wager [Gothamist]

Dolans to Take Their Cable Company and Go Home

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That crazy, Oedipal media-mogul family, the Dolans of Long Island, seems determined to take Cablevision private. For the second time in sixteen months, chairman Charles and his CEO son, Jim, are offering their shareholders a buyout, this time upping their offer to $27 a share. (Shares in Cablevision — which includes not just the cable company but also trophy properties like Madison Square Garden, Radio City Music Hall, and the Knicks and Rangers — rose on the news.) We at Daily Intel don't claim to be financial experts. But we're not bad at reading between the lines of a public statement. "We continue to feel that succeeding in this fiercely competitive environment requires a long-term, entrepreneurial management perspective that is not constrained by the public markets' constant focus on short-term results," the Dolans said, and it seems likely that this buyout is the senior Dolan's bid to keep sinking money into his pet satellite venture, Voom, which has already lost over $600 million and whose launch almost tore the family apart — as chronicled by Joel Siegel a year and a half ago in a March 2005 feature for New York. Sadly for the Dolans, though, this long-term investment strategy might be a boon only to Charles's Voom. As for Jim's pet project — throwing maximum money at the Knicks with no discernible positive effect — we have a feeling fans will always retain their constant focus on short-term results. Oedipus at the Garden [NYM] Dolans Try New Bid to Take Cablevision Private [NYT]

Bollards and Gribbles and Photogs, Oh, My!

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• NYPD and DOT realize, after five years, that concrete bollards don't actually protect us from terrorism. They do, however, teach us new words like "bollard." [NYT] • The Dolans really want to take Cablevision private. So much, in fact, that they'll be happy to absorb $11.3 billion in debt (the company is valued at $7.9 billion). [WCBS] • Yanks bask in the ultimate humiliation: throwing the postseason to the Tigers and getting outlasted by the Mets. Steinbrenner is likely to fire Torre and replace him with Lou Piniella. [WNBC] • The city's operas try to freshen up their crowd by offering $20 or $25 orchestra seats. Giving quotes like "We were all amazed that out of the woodwork these people came roaring up" does not help the populist cause. [NYT] • In a textbook case of good news, bad news, cleaner water in the Hudson nurses back to life an array of disgusting critters like shipworms and gribbles. Bring back the pretty petroleum slicks! [IHT] • And finally, city photojournalists, sounding surreally combative ("We are not a group to be trifled with"), demand rights to shoot in Port Authority facilities. Once you've seen the Christopher Street PATH station at dawn, you'll understand. [AMNY] [Ed. note: Apologies, by the way, for the late start. The Morning Line should post about two hours earlier than it did this morning, assuming in the future we can figure out how to use Movable Type.]

Snipping Toward the Finish Line

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Alan Tosler is well known as a hairstylist to New York's art stars at his Tosler Davis salon (one of New York's Best of 2005). Turns out, though, that he can handle not just his scissors but also his corners. Earlier this month, Tosler, in his 1964 MGB, won Virginia Raceway's Governor's Cup, a major race in the Sportscar Vintage circuit. "It's the polar opposite of what I do," says Tosler, whose clients include Imitation of Christ designer Tara Subkoff and photographer Jessica Craig-Martin. "The other drivers say to me, 'You don't look like a hairdresser!' I think they mean that I don't look gay," he says. (He's straight. Married with two children.) Tosler's racing schedule doesn't faze the creatives he clips. "The last time I went in, he wasn't there because he was in a race," says Art Production Fund co-founder Yvonne Force, a three-year Toslerite. "But I love that. It's an odd yet interesting part of him that I definitely appreciate — a dangerous and passionate obsession." Tosler himself is less dramatic about it. "I feel macho when I race, and then I go back and snip artists' hair," he says. Not that we're suggesting there's anything unmacho about that. — Emma Rosenblum