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Adnan Ghalib

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PageSix.com, We Hardly Knew Ye

Why? Because people just weren't going. Oh, and something about the economy. Damn you, subprime crisis! You took away our Bear Stearns, and now you're taking away our Britney updates?

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Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon Set a Bad Example

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon
Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon texted on their BlackBerrys during the matinee show of August: Osage County before sneaking out at intermission. Criminal! Judith Regan is now suing the lawyers who are suing her for alleged unpaid fees. Anna Wintour sat courtside at the Knicks-Cavs game last night courtesy of LeBron James (she's putting him on the cover of Vogue's shape issue with Gisele in April). Jeremy Piven texted two separate models he met in New York to come meet him at the Mercer Hotel, though he didn't know at the time that they knew each other. The Champagne Marilyn Monroe drank during her famous 1962 shoot was spiked with either drugs or vodka.

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Seinfeld Loves Bozo

Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld says the first comic he found funny was Bozo the Clown. Model Agyness Deyn celebrated her 25th birthday at Don Hills by throwing cake at the crowd. Neil Strauss offers pick-up tips to Rush and Molloy. Pegu Club bartender Erin Williams is currently in Kittila, Lapland, competing in the tenth annual Finlandia Vodka Cup. Diff'rent Strokes star Gary Coleman got married to a Utah redhead a foot taller and eighteen years younger (and he lost his virginity – thanks for ruining our breakfast, "Page Six"!).

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Cameron Diaz to Invade Chelsea

Cameron Diaz
Cameron Diaz is looking to buy an apartment in West Chelsea and also hooked up with Felicity's Scott Speedman in the Bahamas. Samantha Stein-Wells, daughter of murdered real-estate broker Linda Stein, is turning her 35th birthday into a charity event in her mom's name. Padma Lakshmi told Dave Zinczenko that she'd cover her body in chocolate if he put her on the cover of Men's Health. Portfolio magazine named Newsweek fashion scribe Dana Thomas its European editor. Michelle Williams has pulled out of her upcoming movie with Ryan Gosling because she's too beat up over Heath Ledger's death. Maybe-pregnant Angelia Jolie went shopping at a baby boutique in Tribeca.

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Giants Player Has ‘Abandonment Issues’

Osi Umenyiora
New York Giant Osi Umenyiora, who is dating Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks, says he's a difficult guy to love because he has "abandonment issues." Andrew Giuliani, son of Rudy, was arrested for doing 39 mph in a 30 mph zone in Florida. An upcoming reality show on the Mojo Channel forces a handful of semi-prominent New Yorkers to survive without their cell phones and computers. Julia Stiles sat down and ordered a bunch of food at Indochine but requested that it all be doggy-bagged so she could take it home. CNN has been getting better daytime ratings than MSNBC over the past two months, though Fox News still does better than both. Georgina Chapman on fashion: "I'm like a magpie. I like anything that sparkles."

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Brooke Shields Shares the Love on ‘Lipstick’

Brooke Shields
Lipstick Jungle may top Cashmere Mafia because Jungle star Brooke Shields is nicer to her castmates than Mafia star Lucy Liu is to hers. Details editor Dan Peres says he's going crazy and putting on weight because wife Sarah Wynter is pregnant. Kid Rock paid a busboy at Southern Hospitality $1,000 after he returned a $200,000 watch found on the floor of the bathroom that belonged to a Rock posse member. Val Kilmer was spotted running around town with Chad Lowe's girlfriend, Kim Painter. Boston Celtics star Paul Pierce refused to use his credit card at Tenjune and left to go find a club where he could use cash. Donald Trump is hosting a Celebrity Apprentice party at Tenjune during Fashion Week. Uma Thurman and boyfriend Arpad Busson were all over each other at lunch at Lever House.

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Cindy Adams Had Her Psychic Write Her Column Today

Cindy
Cindy Adam's psychic, Wendy, predicts that in 2008, the mortgage crisis will stabilize, Brad and Angelina will adopt some more kids, and Madonna will shave her head. Box owner Simon Hammerstein wrote an e-mail to his club's manager privately applauding a dancer who spilled a drink on Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore ("Bleep] Ashton and Demi, they are so up their own arses … and they spend nothing") but insisted that publicly the performer be "reamed."

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