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Anderson’s Arms

  1. in other news
    Anderson Cooper’s Astounding Arms Attached to Equally Stupendous ShouldersYes, we did watch the entire ‘swimming’ section of Manderson’s Michael Phelps ‘60 Minutes’ segment in slow motion.
  2. photo op
    Anderson Cooper Unleashes His Deltoid Dirigibles on National TelevisionLook at them. For the love of God, they’re glorious!
  3. the sports section
    Anderson Cooper Tries to Block David Beckham’s BallsAnderson Cooper plays goalie against David Beckham. And there’s video. What could be better?
  4. in other news
    Anderson Cooper’s Eyeball Issue Is ResolvedManderson down! We repeat, Manderson down! It turns out our favorite well-biceped broadcaster has just undergone surgery to remove some sort of skin cancer from underneath his left eye.
  5. intel
    Arnold Schwarzenegger Also Loves Anderson’s Biceps!Readers! You are the worst! Why didn’t anybody tell us about this? Last night, we were in bed before Conan O’Brien went on, so we missed Anderson Cooper’s appearance. But apparently an incredibly, stupendously amazing thing happened. HE TALKED ABOUT HIS BICEPS. And not even just in a chitchat-y “Sometimes I use these things for lifting and gesticulating” way. He told an anecdote about how big they are. He’s totally ripping off our best work! It was after Conan asked him whether anyone had ever thrown him off his game before he had to moderate a debate (as if anyone could ruffle our Manderson). Cooper then told a story about how, once, before a Republican debate at the Ronald Reagan library, he spotted Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in the audience. Click above to view the clip. The important stuff comes about 3:11 in. Anderson: What was weird is, and I’ve never met the man, and we didn’t talk then or anything but moments before the debate started, he looked at me and motioned to his bicep, and he was like, “You’ve been working out.” And I was completely thrown. Pleased that Arnold Schwarzenegger had noticed that I’d been working out, I guess. Conan: What if he was telling you, “I will crush you with my bicep”? Anderson: It could have been that. I could have misinterpreted it. For the first five minutes, I was flustered by that. OMG. Our campaign to get everyone to recognize the glory of Anderson Cooper’s arms has just taken a great leap forward! Do you think he gets flustered when we talk about his biceps? Click here to read the rest of our loving, caressing coverage of Anderson Cooper’s twin torso turtles.
  6. intel
    John King Wary of ‘Superdelegates,’ Anderson Cooper’s GunsEarlier this afternoon we cornered CNN anchor John King, who’d just finished with a CNN/Time live-panel discussion in the Time Warner Center, and discussed the irony of the Democratic-nomination system, in which delegates in each state primary and caucus are awarded proportionally, instead of a winner-take-all system. “Look, it’s a political party; they have the right to write their own rules,” said King, who used to sit in on DNC meetings as an AP reporter back in the day. “But one of the interesting things about it, if it keeps going on like it is, you could have a group of roughly 800 people — superdelegates — who decide who the nominee is, which you could argue is going [back] to the old smoke-filled back rooms, which is the least democratic way to do it.” This idea confused and saddened us, so we changed the subject to Anderson Cooper’s ostentatious biceps. “I give Anderson an enormous amount of credit, knowing what this business does to you, especially in a crazy year like this,” King said, possibly relieved someone had given him the chance to speak on the subject. “I’m giving myself a C-plus, at best, in getting to the gym and being more healthy, and the fact that Anderson can get an A throughout all this is a tribute to dedication and time-schedule discipline,” he said — quickly adding, “and I curse him for it.” —Dan Amira
  7. party lines
    Anderson Cooper and Nancy Pelosi Have Something in CommonCable centerfolds Anderson Cooper and Jeff Corwin came together last night at the Museum of Natural History to celebrate their joint project, Planet in Peril. Of course we made a beeline straight for Anderson and introduced ourselves. “I’m working on my biceps,” he assured us, without our even asking. Ay caramba, Anderson pays attention to what we blog about! IT’S LIKE WE’RE FRIENDS. Okay, anyway … Planet in Peril included shoots in many exotic locales, like bug-infested jungles and the arctic north. While in Greenland, Corwin told us, everyone had to use the same public bathroom igloo, called a “shigloo” (we have no idea why). Including Anderson. “In fact, the shigloo is only partially covered,” Anderson told us later. “It’s got a wonderful view. It’s quite exposed.” Wow, Anderson’s glutes exposed. We just had to sit down for a minute. “Nancy Pelosi came to the field site we were at,” Corwin added. “I believe Nancy Pelosi may have visited the shigloo.” Man, the ice caps have never seemed so white. —Amy Odell Earlier: Iraq Trips Hamper Anderson Cooper’s Gym Schedule
  8. party lines
    Iraq Trips Hamper Anderson Cooper’s Gym ScheduleLast night we sent a reporter to Elton John’s AIDS Foundation benefit with a mission: Find Anderson Cooper and ask him about his bodacious new biceps. Bennett Marcus, our intrepid interviewer, took on the task and confronted Cooper about his ginormous guns. Below is what transpired: Your biceps are really big lately. How are you working out? “Wow. What is my workout routine — I’ve never been asked that question! Um, I don’t know [Ed. note: At this point, Cooper appeared to be dying of flustration.], I’ve just been … working with a trainer and uh, I don’t know, lifting a little weight, and running a little. I don’t know. Is that new? The trainer and the rest? Uh, you know, I just turned 40, so yes, I’m trying to be a little bit healthier now and trying to eat a little bit more sensibly. And also, with traveling so much, you know, it’s tough when you’re in Iraq to do anything, so I try to work out when I’m here. [Ed. note: Best. Quote. Ever.] This is really … I sound ridiculous.
  9. in other news
    Despite Big Guns, Anderson Loses Grip on TapesAnderson Cooper was “not happy” that a producer lost the tapes of his Hurricane Katrina special, “Page Six” reports today, forcing the CNN anchor to return from his vacation in Europe and re-film in New Orleans. But judging by the more recent footage, aired last week, we’re betting Anderson was at least a little psyched to have later shooting. It gave him more time to work on his fabulous new biceps, which he debuted during the segment in a clingy black polo shirt. He couldn’t stop himself from raising his arms into the frame so his viewers could get a better look. Anderson — we had no idea that was why you were spending so much time at the gym! Slippery Fingers [NYP]