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Andrea Peyser

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Why the Sean Bell Trial Hasn't Exploded (Yet)

Andrea Peyser needs Al Sharpton's help. The Post columnist has been doing her sneering best to try to pump some racial tension into the trial of three cops accused of murdering Sean Bell. Lately, though, Peyser sounds more frustrated than incendiary: "This was supposed to be a case about racist cops shooting a black man for no good reason," she recently complained. Where is Reverend Sharpton to make an inflammatory stand when you need him? Disney World, that's where!

Eli Manning's Nubile Agility Brings Up All of Andrea Peyser's Old Feelings

Elisha Nelson Manning was a Seinfeld fan who walked around his high school quoting lines from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, the Daily News, which got ahold of his yearbook, tells us today. Which backs up our earlier point: Eli is way too geeky to score with a cheerleader, but it turns out he could have scored with a certain type of lady, like the Post's Andrea Peyser, who writes an uncomfortably pornographic love letter to the quarterback in today's Post. "I WANT me some Eli," she writes. "When it comes to men, there is no competition. Eli Manning is New York's new super stud — an 'aw shucks, ma'am' hottie with jug ears, an infectious grin, and immaculate breeding to go along with his fast hands and field smarts." Fortunately, Peyser went to high school far away from, and about 45 years before, Manning, and thus was never able to sully him with her fast hands. But reading these two pieces in tandem, a brief vision of what might have happened if they had met in high school came, unbidden, into our brains…